got back some more prelim results today.... was really disappointed.... first period was gp.... scored a total of 50/100... c6... sucks.... for the first time, i failed my paper 1.... 22.5/100.... make tt first time i ever failed an english essay... according to e marker, i didnt answer part of the qn.... wtf.... guess i killed myself by choosing one of the hardest qn to do.... again.... this cont'd, i might as well say bye to a levels....

and i got back my econs as well.... wow my econs essays had a 25/75.... wtf.... again, last qn chose wrong one again, only had 4/25.... bravo.... what e hell is wrong with me then, i have absolutely no idea. mcq failed, again.... 8/30... sucks.... practice past yr papers also no point..... only improvement was drq, managed to pass this time, failed case study as well.... overall, flunked econs.... 35/100....F.... hallelujah....

what can i say? my parents will be so disappointed in me.... again.... and my econs tutor, who has been telling me i've been improving, will be so disappointed too.... and im very disappointed in myself... hello, eng supposed to be a1 and now oni get c6.... What the Hell am i doing to myself? what is wrong with me?!!!!! major in what english... i might as well dream on... c6 for english still want to major in english... and i thought tt was my best, but i guess i was wrong. looks like im really not good at anything at all, except failing and disappointing everyone... hell i shd juz go and kill myself now to prevent bringing more misery to ppl. and econs.... i have nth to say already.... study so much, study so hard, study study study, study until i eat, drink, sleep and dream of econs... but still bloody fail... im such an idiot.... fail again.... i dont know what to do anymore, to do w myself anymore.... is it really possible i can get a b????? maybe i really am dreaming, to think tt jc is cut out for me..... perhaps i shd have rebelled and gone to poly instead.... seeing all those disappointed faces only makes me feel worse abt myself.... maybe i shd juz forget abt education altogether.

after sch, was supposed to go out w johnson they all... but looking at my results.... i had no mood.... was thinking of going home and pile myself with hw.... but lay ping caught me and asked mi to go westmall and eat bk w her.... after tt, went to lp's house to do jigsaw puzzle for my friend's bd.... was msging xiao chian as well.... thanks bro.... ha even though know him for such a short time, he still consoled me.... haha.... yah managed to do half of the jigsaw, lp's bro and cuzz keep disturbing us... haha her cuzz so cute...small kid pretending to be spiderman... haha.... monday going back dere again to cont'd w e jigsaw....

sigh....dunno if can go out tmr.... haiz.... dont wanna think abt this anymore.... i already feel so much like a failure.... haiz....