hmm...... nth much haha.. been doing revision until wan to die le.... kekeke~ me and brenda common sentiments, study until sian le. ytd brenda gave me a shock, at 6 plus suddenly msg me ask me want to go play pool.... i was like lost for words... haha~ but hor, since its sat and my parents r home, i cant.... sianz..... think in e end she oso din play keke.... but we made a pact to go and play pool until our hands drop off after a's!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!! think at tt time we will literally be camping there le.... kekeke~

i miss shen yong and zsa zsa...... they nvr fail to perk me up when im down.... forever full of tricks and wad not (esp shen,she's next to the devil keke).... miss those jokes and wadeva w them..... those fun and laughter..... miss eating katong laksa at holland v w zsa after tutions... and sitting down for a cup of coffee and cake keke~ juz chatting away..... miss hanging out w shen in sch and after sch... those bitching sessions and wat not..... and i miss zsa's cooking... she cooks the best steak in e world!!!!! still remb she cooked for me during my bd.... one of the best bds i ever had.... thankies zsa.... next time muz ask her to cook some more for me kekeke~ and shen has promised to teach me guitar after a's!!!!!! yay!!!! hehe~ she so nice, say give me sth to look forward to. haha... she oso cant wait for mi a's to finish, cos she wan to drag me out w her and zsa.... haha~ die le... w e two of them, its going to be one hell of a wild and crazy day... keke~ miss them....... cant wait to meet up w them again.

cant wait for 4/1 chalet too..... i miss all of em.... those fun-filled days.... i wanna cycle in e dead of e night and watch the sunrise again!!!! keke~ last time i did tt w alvin ang and shen... and tt stupid ang at tt time kept trying to take my jacket away frm me.... kekekeke~ hmm....cannot go blading, cos my blades still spoilt... ha.... thanks to keith yah ahaha....

oh yah! keith bought the light blue kitty for me... keke.... then he complain to me sae his friends kept laughing at him... keke.... k thankies keith... haha... now i owe him a favor... :P haha.... and shen oso gg to help me buy... yay!!! hehe~

kies tt all fer now... have to entertain ben b4 he book into camp again... ha... so fast he ns le.... heee.... haven even met him once although we know each other for like 4 yrs le.... haha... tt time at ngee ann could have met each other, but he busy... :( haha... after a's then see lor hehe~

kies, tt all... chaoz.. heh~





HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!! keke~ this blinkie cute rite? thanks to: http://www.sandysworldonline.com/

eeeeeeeeekkkkkkk!!!!!! last then a week to a levels!!!!!!!!! no!!!!!!!!!! sian sian sian.... ha..... one mth of torture... heh... ok one mth of torture in exchange for a future..... hahaha~ kk, ppl jiayou~~ take carez while mugging yah!!!!

now talking to jamie on the phone.... kekeke~ long time nvr talk to her le..... heh~ after a levels going to go shopping w her!!!!!!!! kekeke~ cannot wait.... then can go watch movie..... and go shopping, and go makan..... keke..... suddenly craving for sushi... haha~

yay!!!!! mi cuzz when he came over to tutor me, bought mac, then he bought the grey hello kitty for me!!!!!!!!!! hehe~ kawaii kawaii~ then xiao chian buying the two purple ones fer me todae.... and keith getting e light pink one for me!!!!!!! hehe~ hmm.... so far these r e few i like..... keke~ oni getting those i like cos no money le hehe~ anw, some cols not tt nice so not buying ha~ left the light blue one, e yellow one and the white one..... I WANT THE WHITE ONE!!!!! hehe~ but xc sae oni thurs then start selling.... :( haha~ xc have to help me buy one more le.... hehe~ then tmr maybe gg to buy mac fer lunch.... thinking of gg to my old store... anyone want to go makan w me? *grinz*

kies, tt all fer now... nth much... haha~ chaoz!!!!

for halloween, one of the nicer mj songs!!! keke~ and ya, i like this music video too~

thriller - michael jackson

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind
You're out of time

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

Night creatures call
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time (they're open wide)
This is the end of your life

They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
All thru the night I'll save you from the terrors on the screen,
I'll make you see

That it's a thriller, thriller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller,
Thriller here tonight

(Rap performed by Vincent Price)
Darkness falls across the land
The midnite hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
(Into maniacal laugh, in deep echo)






todae had consultation w paul chow.... tog w tingren and bao yue.... ha... he as usual always deviate frm e subject, but found wad he had to say quite useful. think shd go for more consultations w him (even if it means more showering :P), ha... at least he doesnt scream so much then. haha. or maybe we're lucky tt he's in a gd mood todae.... keke~ maybe it has to do w fiona xie. haha~ tr was saying we shd give him a huge fiona xie poster as a farewell gift for him. haha... not a bad idea. muz be fiona xie in a bikini. keke~ anw, since he tok so much, he din manage to finish, so have to consult him again. hee....

then after e co, went to jp to meet johnson, but tt guy late. wad is it w guys nowadays ah? forever late one lah!!!!! muz set a rule, my future bf muz not be late!!!! hehe~ anw, while waiting for him, went to jalan jalan first, bought a scrunchie!!!! keke~ been eyeing it for a long time le, ever since saw lp wear it... see lah lp, influence me.... make me waste money.... haha. but yah, its nice and unique... keke.... i prefer unique scrunchies.... not those over-e-top one lah, those r like eeeewww.... hehe~ i have one of those though, cos of sports day :P but dun use it much, oni use at home. haha. yah then went to hunt for jiexin's bd pres... went to jennyfer first, cos last time(which was a long time ago) went there had halter tops.... so went there to see.... saw some halters, but all either pink or yellow. haha. then js came, and met me there..... then we went to this fashion, liaoz. again all e halters mainly pink and yellow, js was like so happy cos got his fav color.... haha. eh js, go wear lah, will fit u damn nicely. keke. saw this nice white halter also.... shd ask marc to go buy and wear. haha. more likely he'll melt inside.

then went up to er...ice lemon tee... but dun have. think is all pink and yellow again. todae is pink and yellow halters day.... went to 77th street, there got no halters at all, js was like we take this orange tank top and cut it ourselves into a halter and give her.... liaoz.... this kind of idea still can come up w.... jx shd slap him seh.... haha. finally e like absolutely last shop we could go into had an ORANGE halter.... ha.... search for so long, the last shop available then got. it was 37 degrees..... there had two diff orange halters, one was seriously tiny and v-neck. in e end bought e other one, cos is longer, the cutting is looser plus is like not revealing lah, which we felt was more jx style. and tt one is like seriously orange all e way, except for the white flower prints. very nice.

then went to comics shop while waiting for jx and jean. bought inuyasha calenders!!!!! keke~ 4 2005 calender cards for 50 cents, all inuyasha one... keke~ so kawaii.... pity they din have rurouni kenshin ones.... haha. js also quite disappointed. after tt, went to vcd shop, there we were glued to e tv set, cos they were showing a scene frm you got served, the dance moves were superb siah!!!!!!! that's it, me and js gg to buy e vcd as soon as we have $$$.... haha.... after tt went to take bus to jurong east, alighted at bp bus stop dere to wait for zw and jx, then we took 99 to imm.... brought them to crunchy carrots to makan... keke... me order food halfway, mk called, then went to look for him to bring him to carrots. ha..... i had seafood baked rice, it looked small, but was quite filling... some more not reallie tt hungry.... these few days like dun really have appetite to eat.... sigh.... gd thing is can jian fei.... haha.

after makaning, went to chevrons. they wanted to play bowling. at first i thought they all go and buy the 10 games per person, thought they crazy one to play until next dae ar... haha... then js told me it was 10 games overall.... haha. but still i din play, cos if i did, play halfway have to go home, so ma fan, so din play lor. watched them play and cos im bored, took down their scores juz for fun. ha mk kept kena the longkang.... hehe.... end up his score lowest, js highest. tt stupid js, say wad everytime longkang one, end up he strike 3 times at least(for e first game), score was like 100+++.... ha.... then after watching them play first games, i left... yuppies.....

came home, showered, watched kenshin. found out tt next wed is e last epi... :( no more kenshin..... cries.... but then, juz nice ends juz as my a's start... so after tt can concentrate fully le.... keke... though no kenshin like not so fun le.... oh well.... still got sg idol, though i doubt i'll be allowed to watch. heh....

speaking of sg idols, watched e results juz now... nearly had heart attack, cos olinda was in bottom three.... HOW CAN OLI BE IN BOTTOM 3???????? liaoz e voters r seriously tone deaf..... luckily she din kena voted out, she was safe!!!!! phew! means next wk muz vote for her two times le..... yep. chrissyboo was out though.... oh well. other than his smile, his performances has seriously been on e decline, save for last week's.... but yah. hmm.... looks like no more of tt smiley face le.... keke~ next week is r&b/ soul..... superb!!!!!!! hehe~

yay!!!!!!!! xiao chian gg to help me buy e two purple kitties!!!!!!! kekeke~ thankies xc!!!!!!!!! haha... i was so happy i msged back 'thankies!*hugs*', and he thought i was seriously gg to hug him when he pass me e kitties.... haha.... but then im supposed to help him buy a vcd when it releases, so dun need to hug him le.... keke~ shd be he hug me cos e vcd more ex... haha~ but then hug him ar..... hmmm.... dun mind leh, cos he cute mah.... kekeke~ :P not like tt stupid marc koh, say he will help me to buy the kitty if he makan at mac, but end up he bought for someone else. ass..... HUMPH! don't talk to him le..... grrrrrrr.......

hmm.... recieved this e-mail frm xc.... quite meaningful.... me lazy to forward to ppl, so i'll put it here. enjoy!!!

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things --> your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions ---> things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

heh~ quite meaningful rite? hope we all shall remb this story!!!! keke~ see ya!







hmmm todae hist tutorial damn sad lah.... oni me and idayu at first. then we thought ms lim not coming up, cos bell ring le we wait for so long she still haven come... haha... in e end she came, then she was like surprised cos only two of us, but think she also prepared le..... end up nvr give time prac, cos we not prepared for napoleon. yah.... so juz sit there and ask her qn. then gary and hanan came.... keke.... ask her more qns. then halfway thru, she went down to get essays, while she was gone, the cleaner came in, then she opened the cupboards and we found alot of stuff!!!!!!!!!! there were toys, books and even (pirated) vcds and cds.... goodness.... so many things, we were like, what the hell r they doing here. cos my class nvr collect all these things, so we were puzzled. then idayu spotted a lego set, and gary started to take it out to play, and hanan play also. so funny lah. and idayu was like gg ga-ga over the kelly dolls.... diaoz.... all nice nice packaged. haiz.... guys will be guys... keke... see lego set immediately play... hhaha. then ms lim came in, and she was stunned at what we found, then she also got occupied w e lego set, me and idayu were like -_-".... haha ms lim as fascinated w lego as e guys... kkeke. end up we spent the next few minutes going thru wad was there, saw alot of soft toys (they had winnie the pooh!!!!!!!!!!!!), toys, this 99-piece snow white jigsaw puzzle which in reality only contained less than 20 pieces inside... haha... ms lim see already also laugh. sad case seh...... yah,then still have clothes, e vcds(we nearly wanted to take away the x-men vcd), cds, books, time magazines...... alot of things lah. haha. there were so many buffy books!!!!! i wanted to take too... haha. but cannot. muz be honest. heh. anw, after we took everything out and sorted thru, we helped ms lim to carry the things down to e staff rm. haha. b4 tt, i was reminding them to take their hps as well... keke.... we look like karang-guni ppl lah, so many things, had to make two trips some more. think the ppl wondering wad was gg on seh.... haha. super funny...... and idayu is like so happy she was literally bouncing.... i nearly wanted to snip away tt hair. haha.

yuppies.... then supposed to have consultation w ms pat lim, but she ps us, got meeting. diaoz.... waste time seh come sch. then i oso din feel like gg home, went to send the PRINCESS to e bus stop, on e way met mk... damn stupid lah, talking on e phone w him then bump into him... diaoz. waste my money... haha. yah then the princess board e bus le, went back to sch, e sky was overcast and there was thunder, so din want to take e risk of getting caught in the rain, so stayed in sch to study. after a while, seriously heavy rain, those near where i was sitting all wet... haha. liaoz.... machiam like got tornado or sth coming, super windy lah. i thought my hp was gg to fly off.... haha. then wenhui came, she waiting for elizabeth, so we study and makan tog.... yah then after she met elizabeth, her dad came to pick her up, and i also went home.... heh at e bus stop there suddenly mk pop up... then chat until my bus come then he went back to sch.... think he too bo liao... haha.

yupz, now im home, the house stinks cos of the scaffolding. sian. then during my a level period tt time, have one neighbour renovating his house, even more sian. how to study!!!!!!!!!!!! think i have to learn frm tong they all and camp in sch le. haha. kies,tt all, see ya!

haha i like this song, reallie funny!
pretty fly for a white guy- offspring

Give it to me baby uh huh uh huh
Give it to me baby uh huh uh huh
Give it to me baby uh huh uh huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy
Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco ses

You know its kinda hard just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool but he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue and he may not have style
But everything he lacks well he makes up in denial

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabes
Hey, hey, do that brand new thing!

Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy

He needs some cool tunes, not just any will suffice
But they didn't have Ice Cube so he bought Vanilla Ice
Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass
But if he looks twice, they're gonna kick his lily ass!

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world loves wannabes
Hey, hey, do that brand new thing!

Now he's getting a tattoo yeah, he's getting ink done
He asked for a 13, but they drew a 31
Friends say he's trying too hard and he's not quite hip
But in his own mind he's the, he's the dopest trip

Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh
Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco ses

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabes
The world loves wannabes
Let's get some more wannabes
Hey, hey, do that brand new thing!







YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! my 100th posting!!!!!!!!!!!!! wooohooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha~

ok erm.... juz now my house here super noisy...... my bro and his frens came over.... liaoz one of em super dao lah.... i say hi to him he nvr reply.... juz walk off... ass.... ooi, u in my house leh! have some respect k..... his other frens, well frequently come over one, so see me joke here joke there... all getting lamer and lamer.... hahaha.... this time nvr ask mi do jigsaw, phew.... but this time i asked them if they wanted to do jigsaw, they stared at me as though i was out-of-my-mind.... hahahahaha.... keke.... think they scared le haha. anw, end up is help em come up w an idea for a farewell gift for marcel lee.... yep. my sec sch principal last day of sch is this fri.... so sad cannot say bye bye to him.... heh..... but anw came up w idea for them, so detail some more... keke.... now tt erwin calling me their advisor... diaoz..... haha

oh yah, then they went to play badminton, i told my bro to bring the house key, tt idiot die die also dun wan... end up he came back to take sth while i was showering, rang the doorbell so many times, but i showering like how to open the door for u huh..... haha. so punish him, let him stay locked out longer... keke.... serves him rite. now he brought the key w him le.... hehe...

stupid tr ps me todae.... slap u lah.... :P

yippeee!!!!! my tagboard is working again!!!!!!! hehe~ yesterday they were all down... haha... now it's up and working hehe~ kies im outta here, chaoz!!!!

to celebrate me 100th posting (haha), here r some cute bears for u!!


hehe~ my fav bear!!!! say hi to pinkie!!!!!!!! kekeke~


polkie bear...


lovie bear


chocie bear


football bear






IDOL FEVER!!!!!!!! kekekeke~


maia...got voted out last week.... :( but she's still gonna carry on singing!!! yay!!!


maia and her son, tyrese... kawaii ne!!!


bad boy slyvester... keke~ provides eye candy!!!! hehe~ nice raspy vocals too...


haha...liaoz tt sly super act-cute... hehe.... *drools*


my SINGAPORE IDOL olinda!!!! easily e most talent of e lot!!!!


e feminine side of olinda... keke~

alrighty, these r e three idols tt i support!!!!!!!!! haha.... now oni sly and olinda left.... hehe.... i hope olinda wins though, cos she's e most talented and most consistent!!!! kekeke~






hehe... im on my 98th post... keke... 2 more posts to a hundred!!!!! woohoo!!!!!! hahaha~

todae had pat lim's lesson in e morn... liaoz woke up tt time, my stomach was growling... but then on e way to sch, had stomachache, reached sch, rushed to da toilet. haha..... early morning kena tummy ache.... sianz.... but then turned out i wasnt e only one w tt... heh....

mr dore hospitalised for 6 mths.... my god..... he injured his spine quite badly.... haiz.... in e meantime, mr anand will be taking over.... lucky for us, he's willing to take over. it makes me wonder, what if the sch admin had not decided to change our lit teachers in e first placE? i mean, look at this. j1, we had razal, yap and anand. in j2, beginning, it was latimer, chow and anand. halfway thru, anand was changed to dore. then on teachers day, we bid farewell to latimer and welcomed pat lim. so it was chow, dore and lim, and we had to get used to a new teaching style, and the teachers had to get used to us, given the short timeframe they're working w, esp lim. and now..... its anand again. so its chow, anand and lim.... sigh. u know, if they hadnt decided to switch teachers ard so often esp at the most CRUCIAL PART OF THE YEAR, we all (teachers and students) wouldnt become so lost and confused. seriously. wad e bloody hell is wrong w e sch system man... wad, the arts fac not as precious as e science fac is it? ass..... we'll be e ones saving their asses getting a(s) and they treat us like shit. idiots.

hmm.... hey, after a's we go visit dore at hospital want????? hehe~ lit fac outing to e hospital... haha~ i think he will be quite surprised to see us.... heh... hope tt all of us will do well and make our lit teachers proud. we owe them tt much, after all e shit (as mr chow nvr fails to remind us) they had to go through for us. yupz..... alrighty ppl???? heh...

went to boon lay mac w tr and emay fer brunch todae... hehe... saw xiao chian, but he busy, din see me.... they were having environmental officers over todae.... keke.... tr says his hygiene not good haha.... then later he msged me and say tr always sprouting rubbish(which is quite true hehe)... my apple pie is he cook one!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha~ actually not really cook lah, is juz put the pies into the vet oni... keke.... but is still he do one hehe :D then super funny, emay was so bored, she kept playing w tr's tea... hhaha.... e poor girl could only watch her tea being abused.... haha.... shd have taken pics of tr's expressions, super funny and very exaggerated.... keke.... then we all trying to catxh a glimpse of xiao chian, emay kept seeing his hair and back only haha... me and tr luckier, can see his face thru e mirror... haha.... then whenever xc turn, he had to walk to e kitchen there, so end up emay still cannot see his face, she down there keep complaining haha..... in e end she managed to see him lah hehe... say he look like her sec sch fran... when i told him tt he was like, where got?? i where got so young??? where got possible??? hahaha.... he funny lah... ppl praise him look young he dun wan, so i say he look like 80 yr old man he happy lor... liaoz..... *bish*.... say he himself ugly some more.... uh oh.... looks like i have to change eye candy le hahaha..... :P

okie, promised tr i will put up e lyrics of a song we heard in mac, here it is:

Remember Me This Way - Vanessa Williams (Casper OST)

Every now and then we find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
But a part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
For ever more a part of me you're everywhere
I'll always care

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side in all you do
And I won't ever leave as long as you believe
You just believe...

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way






hmm.... abt slightly more than a week left till a levels.... haiz.... oh well..... all e best peeps!!! jiayou!!!!!!!!

after a's im going to go ice-skating!!!!!!!! kekeke~ hu wan to go keke~ (other than zhiyu haha)... then im gonna meet up w jamie and go on a shopping spree!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!! and on da 2nd to 4th dec, have 4one chalet!!!!!!! yippee!!!!!!! see y'all at pasir ris!!!!! keke~ then frm 5th to 15th dec, will be in tasmania!!!!! woohoooo~ and then come back, more shopping sprees w feli and lp and tr for grad nite!!!!!! and on 25th dec, it's christmas and kathy's birthday!!!! kekeke~ and on 30th dec, its JJC's grad nite!!!! haha~ on 31st dec, time to party to welcome e new yr!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!! hahaha~ and of course im going to work!!!!! hahahaha~ still wondering wad to work as.... hehe~ maybe become relief teacher... haha... i siao liaoz.... a levels haven started already planning wad to do after tt... kekeke....

okiez.... de-stress time over.... groans... time to shower and hit e books once more *more groans*... oh ya... did i mention i was gonna burn my books after a levels? *grinz*




hey... hmm... woke up w a bloody bad headache todae.... on e right side of my brain. then had tuition, god cannot concentrate lor.... but tried to. then had cramps... sianz.... end up after tuition, crashed on e bed and slept until 1 plus, when my parents came home w lunch. makan oso hard, so pain... its excruciating!!!!!! then took panadol..... and gritted my teeth to study.... now feeling better... ha thank god.

yup, gonna get new curtains!!!!!!!! kekeke~ its not pink, its like red? maroon? yupz... very nice. goes w the pink in mi rm hehehe~ :P yippee!!!! new curtains fer new yr!!!!! hehehe~

hmm.... end of yr going to tasmania.... frm 5 to 15 dec... two weeks... wow... but somehow like not tt excited leh.... dunno y... maybe cos a levels coming? haha... 2 weeks... 14 days.... argh!!!!!!! help!!!!!!!! yup.... then 4 one chalet 2-4th dec... wah think i siao liao... straight after chalet go holiday.... hahaha.... by the time come back will be like -_-" le.... kekeke... so anyone want anything frm tasmania? hehe~ tell me!!!! kekeke~ but wont guarantee mi gonna buy fer u hehe~

kies tt all... chaoz!




hmm.... yesterday went to westmall to eat bk w lay ping.... then walk ard.... bought a new hair clip.... wanted to buy bellefire's cd, but they dun have. oh well.... anw, yvonne going to help me buy when she goes down to hmv. yay!!! haha.... so sian. music shops nowadays mainly feature artists which are popular.... those tt arent dont get featured much, they dont even sell their cds.... so sad. tsk tsk.

watched singapore idol results juz now.... maia was out... what the hell is wrong w e ppl man..... talent is being let go.... first it was jessea, now its maia.... who next? olinda? seriously, of e rest left, olinda is e one who has the most talent. she is e only one who can REALLY SING. plus she's daring. maia can sing too.... both olinda and maia r what makes this show interesting, cos only e both of em r daring. olinda dares to reinvent herself, maia adds spice and attitude. my dad says maia is prolly out cos she's a single mum, and many ppl dont approve of tt. sad to say, it sure is true. so many of my friends dont like maia cos they dont approve of her personal life. HELLO, this is a talent show, since when do personal backgrds come into the picture? can these ppl stop being so shallow? tt's HER LIFE, who r u to ctrl it? this show is meant to be based on talent, but unfortunately, many ppl dont know what the hell 'talent' means. even e judges agree. oh well. cant say im surprised. juz look at e sort of grps/ singers tt r popular in e music scene. bands like f4 r like seriously trash. very rarely r talented artists credited/recognised. jay chou is an exception (surprise surprise). well, looks like only olinda is left to provide real talent here. and again, many ppl i know dont like olinda cos of her looks. so what if she doesnt look as gd as maia or jessea or whoever. SHE CAN SING and hell she is so much better than e rest. she is in a league of her own. if olinda gets kick out, i guess i can deduce there is seriously sth wrong w e voters. they muz be deaf or they need a lesson on what talent is exactly. and if olinda is out, tt's it. i wont watch sg idol anymore. what's e pt? only untalented ppl will win e competition, real talents will sadly be let go. seriously, it'll be a disgrace at e world idol. think abt it. at least i can console myself tt i did vote for these talented ppl, sadly it wasnt enough for maia to stay on. oh well. i'd buy her's and olinda's albums(if they do have one and i hope they will) over e others anytime.

yah, and my hp juz got confiscated,again. oh well. i cant be bothered anymore. want to confiscate than confiscate lor. who cares. juz provide me w an alt alarm clock and an alt way of contacting my teachers for consultation lor. anw, no hp means they cant track me. haha. i can run away, and they'll have no way in which to contact me. maybe i shd run away, get away frm this hellhole. i cant wait till im 21 and i can move out, really. im getting very sick of this place. this biaseness and shit. im beginning to dislike them more and more. push me some more and i'll hate them all. really. i dont even feel shock tt i feel this way. perhaps i always knew one day it would reach this stage. oh well, juz a few more yrs to freedom. ive waited this long, i can wait some more. and then, i can finally have my own life. have a life. live. yippee! i cant wait. they can juz sit there and eat their words.

call me unfilial if u want. label me and slam me if u will. i dont care anymore. tt's my life. if u think u know me, or know what i go and live through, u are seriously wrong. not even my own family knows me, they think they do, but they dont. cos they always get it wrong, but i cant be bothered to tell them, since being silent is e only way to shut them up. so yah. u dont know me, so dont judge me. u dont know what i put up w, wat i go through, what i do, so juz shut up and fuck off. keep ur ass out of my face. keep ur comments to urself. thank you. now, bugger off and dont come back!

shadow - ashlee simpson

I was six years old
When my parents went away
I was stuck inside a broken life
I couldn't wish away
She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry-

Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Oh, my life is good
I've got more than anyone should
Oh, my life is good
And the past in the past

I was living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
I'm living in a new day
I'm living it for me
And now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me

Living in, living in, living in the shadow
Living in, living in, living in a new day






well.... wad can i say.... i think im suffering frm a serious burnout.... juz feel so so so so tired.... got no energy.... juz so dizzy, so sleepy.... i feel like i could juz slp forever.... maybe i am falling ill..... or maybe i am on the verge of breaking down. i cant be bothered anymore. i juz wish this nightmare will be over. e whole shit. e whole a levels, e whole world wars at home, e whole having to face bitches and bastards in sch everyday, e whole he haunts me at every sec of every min of every hr of everyday of my freaking life so far. i juz want to push the STOP button and scream!!!!!!!! if only i could..... haha. welcome to the harsh realities girl.

had world war i have no idea number wad juz now. during dinner. dinner is supposed to be peaceful. take note of the past tense. it hasnt been ever since my bro had brains(or rather, lost them). today, he decided to pick a fight again. at such an opportune time. juz when i was feeling giddy and headachy frm a lack of slp. it was a miracle i didnt blow my top then. yah. he juz hurled accusations at me, and i juz calmly refuted them. and guess what? i got scolded for starting e fight by my dad. like what the fuck. i didnt even do anything!!!! my bro was hurling f words and calling me lucifer and wat nots, and e only 'vulgur' word i used was satan. and my bro din get yelled at by me k, i was e one who was being yelled at. so the din was solely due to that irritating voice of my bro, not me! i din even raise my voice for freaking sake! i was too tired to even bother. and my dad scolded me. i thought i was doing pretty gd, hell i was proud of myself for not losing my temper and keeping it all in, but then of course my bro's ABUSING was my fault again huh. yah sure. y on earth would i want my bro to abuse me at the top of his lungs for? to lose face? crazy.... that's the craziest theory i have ever heard. i might as well juz ask him to beat me up. fuck it, i dunno wad the hell is wrong w this ppl. seriously.

and of course, my parents have decided to not send me overseas for education again. yippee. first it was cant go in sec 3, cant go after o's, cant go early this yr, and again, it is cant go for uni. so when am i going? they say for post grad studies. i dont think its ever gg to happen. i have lost my trust in them. they have broken their word 4 times on this subject. that is 4 promises. 4. i was so bloody freaking looking forward to it, hell my boyfriend even broke up w me cos of that. THAT. i gave up my one and only relationship and suffered hell (and still suffering) juz cos i wanted to realise my dream. and it came crushing down on me at the command of my parents. what the fuck. i hate this. i hate my life. i feel like i could juz sieze my passport and get out of here. i dont care where, juz out of here. even if i end up at the bottom of the sea, i dont care.

well, im not sure if im going for lit tmr. i dont think so. i dont think i have the mood to sit and listen to paul chow lamenting at the huge amt of work he has for more than half the period. he's done it so many times i can practically memorise what he's gonna say. so yah. we'll see. sorry idayu.... but i'll be there for hist yah.... another time prac. joy. oh well....

on the brighter side, going to have bk for lunch w lay ping tmr. yay!!! been craving for bk. guess i'll have to vent my anger on the poor mushroom swiss tmr. sigh. i've been reduced to this. oh well. im gone.




hmm.... todae had hist consultation w ms lim in e morning..... haha.... had it in e concourse.... keke..... she din sae anything much abt us not gg fer lec yesterdae.... i heard she was reallie angry..... but she din scold us or anything, was juz like, u all better come on thurs ah..... okie... think cannot pon hist lec le.... :( tmr got hist tut... think is time prac again. haiz. sian.

no LIT tmr!!!!! yay!! hhaha.... this means i can meet drizzle! yep yep.... mi darling junior coming back to jj to visit us... keke.... spread e word to all j2 councilors!!!!!!!! hehe~ she come back to see us one.... so sweet rite.... hehe.... miss her.... keke..... think silvest will be happy to see her too... heh. serious msging to do tonite.... o_o... haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNIE!!!!!!! keke.... tt girl ah, todae abit crazy crazy one.... haha. during econs lesson, keep making funny sounds, even gary dunno wad's wrong w her... haha. but yah... they two very sweet lah.... *envy*... keke. even ms lim this morn suan them, force gary to sit opp her and not beside annie... haha. she was like, "dont see beside ur girlfriend for awhile can one la" haha..... they funny lah. todae my class oso abit crazy one. econs lesson keep munching food, then gary keep like, "let's rape the milo sweets" or "let's rape the raisins." then when pei xuan finished the raisins, he kept saying "she has raped the raisins le"... haha. liaoz... think he overdose of paul chow le. heh. :P poor annie..... her bd muz put up w a bf intend on raping food.... haha. then jasmin wanted me to eat my last milo sweet, but i knew she was hungry, so i ask her to it. then she dun wan. then gary was like, y u dun wan? u dun wan i eat. then jas was like, but its for yuen mei! cos the milo sweets r hers! then gary was like, but she doesnt want what. so i eat lor. then he and jasmin started fighting over the sweet, and i was like -_-". liaoz. milo sweet oso want to fight, think their bd know wad to give them le. milo sweets. haha. cheap and good. keke.

yah then annie (again during econs) kept asking me and gary y hanan's and jia hao's hair so funny today.... like how we know sia..... haha. and then she juz kept staring at hanan.... then hanan was wondering y she kept staring at him. then gary decided to join in, ask mi to join in too. so end up three of us were staring at hanan during econs. hahaha. e poor guy was so confused, he din know what was gg on or y we were staring at him. hehe. he nvr found out i guess... haha.

yah then during lunch, nisa was saying sth abt jasmin, then she juz happened to pop up, and all of us were laughing and stared at her. then she oso din know wad was gg on.... haha.... she oso confused le. keke..... all nisa's fault. haha.

alrighty, tt all fer now. chaoz!






hmmm.....din go fer hist lec again..... keke.... then was playing hide and seek w ms lim in sch.... sian..... keep popping up in front of me, den i have to siam. haha.... tr oso think cannot stand me le hehe....

errrrrrrrr.....wad else wad else wad else??????? actually nth else le.... haiz.... so boring now. go sch, study. come home, study. sleep. wake up. study. study study study. damn sian. juz dun feel like studying le, but cannot. have to get gd results for a's. dunno wad's wrong w me. its like there's no motivation for me to study like tt. unlike o levels. study until so hard oso can.... haiz......

keke... parents to watch eagles concert.... so lucky. im stuck home w bro. but he aint disturbing me(thank you)... busy w bio keke.... :P read in e papers e other day, this father beat his 5 yr old daughter, and she died. he has been beating her cos she is a girl. wad the hell is wrong w these ppl? what's wrong w girls???? so wad if we cant carry on e family name????/ HELLO!!!!!! u need us for e survival of the human race, yet u treat us like shit. these men shd be condemned to eternal hell. shd face e pain of loving a girl and not being loved back. then they know how impt we are. pls, e poor girl didnt ask to be born in this world. she was born as a result of ur decision to have sex, she din drop frm e sky juz like tt. so since u decided to have babies, and since u cant control e gender of the baby, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for the child even if she's a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how dare u insolent fool ill-treat the poor girl till this way!!!!!! she's only FIVE and she had to die in ur hands!!!!!!!! u din even give her a chance to experience a childhood and love and all!!!!!!!! i hope u get nightmares of the girl in jail. u deserve it. she is ur daughter after all, and u MURDERED her. asshole. i hate ppl like u. i hate ppl who hate women/girls/daughters. u ppl shd go to hell. burn and rot and stay there forever. leave us alone. unless u want the human race to die out. seriously these ppl dunno how to use their brains. if they want a son so much, and like boys so much, y bother marrying a female? cos u need us to give u sons? asses..... stupid fools...... nvr think. brain given to u for no use at all. ass....

yes.... so my future husband muz accept and love our future child no matter what gender it is..... keke.... fundamental rule. haha. i dun care. im not a staunch feminist but i seriously cannot stand mcps and ppl who degrade women. of course i also cant stand women who degrade themselves. and i cant stand ppl who abuse kids. assholes, all of em. ruining a child's life. y have one when u didnt want one at all? take responsibility for ur actions, damn u! poor kids..... those abusers shd juz die.

well..... tt all. haha. im tired. :P byez.... feel free to post ur comments on my volcanic eruption yah. chaoz.

Angels-jessica simpson (i love this song! i like e robbie williams one more, but well, jessica simpson's version is more apt for femals, hehe)

I sit and wait does an angel contemplate and do they know the places
Where we go when we're grey and old
'cos I've been told that salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed thoughts running through my head
And i feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

[Chorus:]
And through it all he offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

When I'm feeling weak and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love and as the feeling grows
He breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

[Chorus]
[Repeat Chorus]






nth much e past few days.... think i shd steer clear of tennis keke cos keep getting injured. yesterdae my forehead kena whacked by tennis racket, now its swollen. haiz... pain.... and my right hand oso got blue-black.... sianz.... at least now its not hurting hehehe.....

mi dad bought a new hp, but he got so fed-up using it he passed it to me for now... haha. prolly wants it back when he comes home, so im making full-use of it now kekeke.... i like camera phones cos can play... hehe..... some more this one got alot of effects and frames... KEWL!!!!!! kekeke..... my fav effect is panaroma(i think its spelt like this)... kewl kewl.... hahahha... i want a new HP!!!!!!!! whoever buys me one kewl camera hp, i'll give u a big kiss!!!!! kekeke..... of course better still if u're cute like diego luna or josh hartnett or alec su or.... kies.... ill stop drooling hahaha.... :P

made some changes to my blog, reallie minor ones... kekeke.... :P hahaha... crazee.... keke... here's a quiz!!!!


Your Aeris! You are a very caring and mysteries
girl. You always worry about your loved ones.
At first glance people might think that your a
happy girl with no worries but deep down inside
you are a confused individual. Believe in
yourself more, then you will conquer all.


Which Female Character from Final Fantasy Vii Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla






kaoru. kenshin's love. owns a dojo. style: Kamiya Kasshin Ryu


yahiko (yoshi). pupil of kaoru. style: Kamiya Kasshin Ryu


sanosuke. friend of kenshin. style: martial arts. but learns Futae no Kiwami, art of using e fist to fight frm Anji(member of juppon gatana)


megumi. doctor. like kenshin.

all these ppl makes up e kenshim-gumi. hehehe.


misao. oni gang member. sees aoshi as a father. when aoshi went missing, she proclaims herself leader of oni gang. style: Kempo


top to bottom: kaoru, yohiko, sano, kenshin, saito, aoshi and misao. all involved in fight against shishio and juppon gatana.


l-r: shishio, soujiro, kenshin, ayumi and houji. other than kenshin, all e others work for shishio. ayumi is shishio's lover as well.

tt all for now... kekeke.... maybe will tell e story next time hehe, bye!






ritez... one part of samurai x has ended.... his fight w shishio and e juppon gatana has ended.... now he is preparing for a fight w another gang. but for tt shihio bit, me has decided to put up some pics.... kekeke.... quite alot, so prolly do it in two postings.... muahahaha.... *grinz* here goes!


kenshin and gang.


kenshin and kaoru.... sweet!


kenshin and kaoru chan.... hehe~


shishio, guy who wants to overthrow meiji govt and take over japan. like kenshin, frm e tokugawa era. strong fighter, nearly killed kenshin. was burnt during toku era by meiji govt officials. twisted sadist. hahaha. now trying to take over hell. style: Satsu Jin Ken


soujiro. shishio's right-hand man. part of juppon gatana, trained to be a fighter by shishio. always smiling, suppressed emotions. believes in shishio's law of nature: e strong shall survive, e weak shall perish. turned over new leaf thru kenshin. provides a strong fight for kenshin, where he was severely injured. style:Tenbu no Sai Niyoru Ken


kenshin. was known as battousai e slasher. style: hiten mitsurugi ryu




i cried myself to slp last nite.... e tears juz flowed after wad my parents said to me..... all this while i have been trying to be strong, to look forward, to not dwell on wad had been done, but their harsh words juz broke me. my feelings, they did not care, my thoughts, they did not care, my words they would not listen, all they saw was a girl who didnt seem bothered by her dismal prelim grades. last night, my parents finally told me what has been on their minds for so long. they told me that i wont make it to a uni, they told me that i was a lost case, they told me that it was a mistake to let me go to a jc, when i shd have gone to a poly. how funny. u were the ones who planned my life for me. u were the ones who dictated where i was to go, what i was to do. u placed me in nanyang pri, where i was to suffer ppl's beatings and insults. when i went to assumption, u were determined to get me out there, but i failed u. so i worked hard, not so much as for my own, but for YOU. to make u happy. and i was able to go to a jc. u know i wanted to do mass comm at ngee ann, but u refused. u knew i wanted to go to pj, but u refused. u forced me to go to jj, filling in my form for me. e only thing i was able to make for myself was my decision to go to arts. but u expected me to breeze through tt course. u expected me to score As, when u nvr supported my decision. all these while, u have been cursing me the very day i became an arts student. cursed me for not living ur dream of taking science, cursed me for not being mathematically inclined enough. what have i ever done to u to deserve this? all my BITTER and MISERABLE life, i have tried again and again to PLEASE you, but it was NEVER enough. i have tried to be e daughter u desired, i have tried to be worthy of ur love and attention. i have tried, and i keep trying. but u nvr gave so much a glance at me. it was always my brother. tall, skinny, handsome, smart, sporty younger bro vs fat, blank, ugly, stupid me. that has been what u thought of me as. thanks for telling me that yesterday. after all i had done, giving MY LIFE to u, u treated me this way. yes, i felt rage yesterday. i could just tear u up. u forced me to take a levels, and now tt im at the door, u spat at me. rather than supporting me, u left me to die, as u have done b4. but tt time, i survived. now, i swear i shall survive, or die tryin. but this time, its not for u. its for me. to prove to u tt i dont need u.

thanks for everything. im sorry i couldnt be the perfect daughter u asked for. im sorry i cant match up to my brother. im sorry u love him more. im sorry i nvr meant anything to u. all i wanted, was to feel ur love, the way u love my bro. but i see now i will nvr feel that. why then, did u have me? why didnt u kill me when u could? why bring me into this world, if only to suffer? why? why, when u have decided not to love me? why? WHY WHY WHY? why didnt u just kill me????????

im not needed by u anymore.
im not needed in this world anymore.
i give up this fight. i surrender. u win.




this morn, e sch was deader than usual. sat at e bench outside council rm, no life at all. so silent and eerie, only a few souls here and there. a ghost town. hell ya. kekeke.... no j1s ard, very few j2s. even e fruit drinks stall aunty commented on tt, and she praised me for coming to sch for lessons.... kekeke....

lit p1 in morn, dore's sick, so went to lib to use comp to type out essay outlines. liaoz, work w jas and pei xuan can get headache seh... mi and idayu were like, shit la... dunno wad to do. thank god i was sitting btw j and px.... haha... in e end, we split up e work, dayu and jas, me and px. keke. at least easier to work w px, cos she will listen to ur opinions and all.... jas is like, when she wants things to go her way, it muz go her way, else she not happy. which was happened todae. but then, dayu kinda close to her so dayu says wad she'll listen lor... keke.

oh yah, then gp consultation. supposed to b like 45 min, end up frm 9.25 to 11.... haha. ended up chatting w each other, talking abt various uni courses and all.... yah... keke.... so farni, din expect can chat for so long kekeke..... hehe.... very wierd, all my teachers whom i have talked to/consulted all keep asking me to cont working hard. ask me not to give up. guess they all expect me to do well for a's.... haiz..... now even more stressed... grrrr..... tmr econs co, aiee.... dunno how it'll go. tmr is econs dae seh... not gg for gp lesson, so can wake up later :)... hehe.... den gg for econs tut, after tt is ec co, then ec extra lessons.... if mi cuzz ask for ec tuition tmr i think i'll faint.... hahaha.....

this sat got lit extra lesson i think.... hmm... keke.... din go fer hist lec todae... at first nadiah wanted to drag me to hist, but then wenhui persuaded her to go for econs, so end up she din go for hist, pon to do econs to prepare for her tut... so i oso din go lor(din intend to anw)... haha.... test lah, din study, go will be like a lamb to the slaughter... hehe..... i realised sth, mi class todae mainly wearing red hahaha... not e first time. maybe we all like red kekeke..... k im crapping.... :P

then abt to go home, saw my hist teacher. YIKES!!!!! slowed down, hid behind e wall until she walk away, phew.... she din see me. hahaha.... den quickly left sch hahaha.... yah.... :P kies, tt all... back to ec mcqs :P




sch is boring.... so many ppl dont bother gg to sch anymore. i get so sian waking up everyday tt i juz dun feel like getting up and coming to sch.... haha..... always have to drag myself out of bed or else my bro will make a racket.... sian.

speaking of my bro... haiz.... dunno wad to do w him. he came home todae and started complaining tt he hadnt had lunch.... like wad does he expect me to do arh.... then he called my mum, and she told him to cook maggie mee.... my mum asked me to teach him and all... and then he dared to order me to cook for him! i was like, NO! im only going to give u instructions on how to do it! and u know wat he did? he started yelling at me and complaining abt how he needs to go shower, he doesnt have time and he needs to study. so i juz replied tt since he's so busy, dont eat then. and he got so pissed he stormed off. seriously, 15 yr old boy dont know how to cook instant noodles? not even e simple boil water and pour into a cup thing? wth..... he's juz being plain lazy. he always is. yesterday he actually ordered my mum to wash his dishes for him, cos "I have no time! i need to study! i got exam tmr!" yah yah, got no time still can spend an hr on the phone, an hr in front of e tv, slowly eat ur dinner and start throwing tantrums. GROW UP. WE R NOT UR SLAVES!!!!!! he spends so much time arguing w my parents on whether he shd wash his dishes or not tt i swear he could have finished washing all of our dishes during tt period of time. yah. c'mon lah, only washing ur own dishes, is not gg to kill u rite. a plate, a bowl, a fork, a spoon and a cup. five mins is all u need. like how much can u study in 5 mins? u prolly spend those 5 mins checking ur hp or sth. so juz GROW UP. and e maggie mee thing. teach him how to on e stove, goodness. can vomit blood. it doesnt even take a minute, and he was like, i cannot! i got physics tmr! it takes up too much time! and i shot back, then u stand here and stare at ur uncooked maggie mee lor. dont expect me to do things for u all e time. im teaching u skills u need. wad if no one's home? wad u gonna do? starve to death? dont give me this shit lah, it may work on my parents, it doesnt work on me. my mum actually dared ask me to cook for him, cos "I havent showed him how to cook it b4". yah rite. its not she hasnt showed him, is always she ask him to come and learn, he'd grumble and says he has no time. if u expect me to do e same, id rather go and die. pls lor, she nvr did show me how to cook instant noodles also lor, i learnt it myself by observing others. really. how ridiculous. and u know, he had e AUDICITY to order me to crack his egg as well.... WTF.... crack it urself lah! sheesh..... and he scolded me yesterday morning cos his breakfast wasnt made. idiot. juz cos i made it for u e day b4 doesnt mean ill do it for u all e time. u want, at least learn to ASK POLITELY! LEARN SOME MANNERS! end up i had to cook it for him, but i made him stand there and learn. u know wad he did? ask him to put e bacon in e oven to warm it up, the oven nearly burst and e paper nearly caught fire!!!!! luckily i was quick enough to realise sth was wrong and switch it off, else id have died. and where was he? showering. smart ah. cook halfway go and shower when i asked him to stay there and watch over e food. stupid ass. dun even know how to line e tray properly, anyhow put e paper(when u're supposed to use aluminium foil, but he insists it gives u cancer so he refuses to use it), see lah. and dare to ask me what went wrong. ass. so when his noodles was FINALlY COOKED(by me), it was diluted. and he complained. hello! u were e one who poured in e boiling water..... i say a bit more, u poured in a whole lot more, of course diluted lah! my fault arh.... go bang e wall lah. ass.... nvr even say thank u. juz sit there and eat and eat. ass. wonder how he survives in ns siah. keep boasting how he wants to become what... sergent and all tt, cant even take care of urself be wad sergent.... become laughing stock more like it. idiot. plain idiot. what angers me is my parents let him get away w it. they pamper him like nobody's business. seriously, i thank god im not pampered like him. at least i can survive if im alone, he cant. and my mum actually let herself get yelled at by him (if i did tt id prolly get caned or slapped). yah she does. double standards? maybe but im pissed she lets him do it. she told us last nite she didnt want to cook dinner todae, so she asked if we wanted caterer or go out and buy. and my bro juz started throwing a tantrum cos he needs "home-cooked food cos im having exams". pls lah. i have exams i oso eat caterer food rite. mum din even cook when i was having o levels and all... and u can make such demands. then he refused to have catered food, and he refused to go out and buy dinner. so my mum had to go out and buy(i have to do other hh chores so e lil prince can study). ass. juz cos u're a guy doesnt mean u dont have to do anything! so what if u're e youngest... ass.... u put on a facade and get me into trouble, yet u act like this behind everyone's back. ass. u shd fall in love w a girl who doesnt know how to cook and do housework as well, see how u survive. ass....

watched westside story todae... e english one. its an old classic, brilliant movie. a musical movie. u know old-school movies? yah... set in e 1950s new york, west side story is like romeo and juliet. only this one has got all those dancing and singing. nice show..... its so sad those lovers.... tragic love... near e end there very sad, cos tony died and maria was like heartbroken(and my bro had to spoil it w his tirade on how i shd cook for him). what draws us to such stories like westside story and r&j? perhaps its juz e devotion the two lovers have for each other. maybe its corny(yah within 1 min of meeting they're like so in love w each other. sorry, but i dont believe in love at first sight still), but still wad they go through tugs ur heartstrings. so sad..... and i love e whole singing and dancing. they dont have any of such old sch movies anymore.... grease and all.... i LOVE grease.... absolutely one of my favs. wonder wad the theme for grad night will be? they were joking wad if it's "back to sch"? then they'd go there in jj uniform. but i think it'll be cool. cos then we can dress up as old sch or wadeva. so lil ppl in my class gg for grad nite, we can have e girls in pink jackets posing as e pink ladies and e guys in black leather jackets posing as t-birds. all tt's left r the bikes. woohoo!!!! hahaha~ and we can march in tog, and do a grease no. kekeke.... kk, im crazy le. haha~ i need to be crazy to let off steam. hahaha~

ritez, gonna sign off now. chaoz!

i bruise easily - natasha beddingfield (lovely song, beautiful!)

Oh...yeah
My skin is like a map, where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks, but it's not a negative thing
So I lay down my guard, drop my defenses, down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I found your finger prints on a glass of wine
Do your know ur leaving them all over this heart of mine too
If I never take this leap of faith I'll never know
So I'm learining to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
Anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you

So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I bruise easily
I bruise easily












got back my lit p4 results todae.... 52.5..... yesterdae got back p8 results, 52... hmm i tot i might fail tt paper... tot i wrote out of pt... ha but tt qn had the higher marks... keke... oh well... haha.... so this means my lit overall is 56.... got a d... hmm.... improved frm mid yr, but not gd enough..... have to aim for a for a's now.....

ha i actually wanted to bitch abt two ppl... one is someone frm arts, e other is none other than my bro.... but im so tired i dont really feel like it. heh. maybe next time, if they incur my wrath again. for now i'll juz keep it inside. yep yep.

hmmm.... oh yah. went to buy des pres w feli todae. bumped into yvonne, meilissa and erm... think in yan xiu???? pai seh.... yah her muthus... keke.... mi blur din see her, until she hollered my name. then bumped into iskhairy as well, long time no see, again mi blur, feli tell mi then i realised i walked past him, but ha he turn ard and waved haha....walked round and round. bought straws and cards, doing sth for my class :) lil farewell and good luck gift.... so sad.... we're all gg to go our seperate ways soon.... 2 yrs juz fly by like tt.... i've had regrets, but there's no pt in regrets. i regretted not knowing my classmates more.... but then there's no pt in regretting tt now. now my class is siezing whatever time is left to spend it tog, meal times eat tog, having breaks go out tog, take photos w each other, laughing and crapping(which we always do anw)... haha.... sometimes we happen to congregate at e same place in e morning too... kekeke... hope all of em go for grad nite.... i nvr tot i'd say this but i will miss all of em when our a's r over, and e journey of jc life has ended. i hope that our friendships will nvr end.... this goes out to all e wonderful friends i have made, esp those who have helped me when i was in trouble.... remb to keep in touch kies?

ritez, enough sentimentalism, i can feel ur tears(yah rite haha). ha des gift.... erm yah bought this addidas water bottle for him keke.... tt shop assistant super lame lah.... dots.... haha.... and erm tr i DID NOT try to get his no hor so dun worry k... hehe.... yah then erm went home haha.... watched rurouni kenshin(samurai x)... yay!!!!!! shisio died!!! hahaha.... kenshin won (like duh)....hee~ so nice.... i like animes.... keke.... animes r gd for u!!!!! hehe~ yay... now kenshin and cori tog again hehe.... so sweet.... keke.... see e two of em makes me wanna have a bf too... haha... I WANT A BF!!!!!! hehe~ oh no... kena influenced by idayu le... haha... dayu, bad influence!!!!!! hahaha..... ?_?

zy supposed to treat me to lunch tmr... e owe-for-super-long-time lunch le... kekeke... but he having gp paper 1 test tmr so cannot haha... nvm. after a levels can gimme a BIG TREAT!!!!!! hahaha~ think he faint le hehehe..... :P and i swear lay ping has gone bonkers... tt girl suddenly call me ask mi tmr go swimming.... crazy.... she dunno how to swim lor, want to go out and swim... some more sick... wait u sicker then yan hua kill me how????? jia lat.... haha anw managed to tok her out of it kekeke (whew, no need kena killed by her lao gong le, see i so gd help u to take care of ur wife). eh, wait u recover le then swim ba... also my here finishing e scaffolding soon, after tt can go swimming k? then can teach u... mi lazy to lug the kick board all e way to cck dere la haha.... i think i can become swimming coach le... hehe.... not bad not bad....

ritez...tt all... chaoz!




played tennis todae... haha... been playing lots of tennis lately. keke..... but e tennis balls stil fly all over e place.... sigh.... then always kena scolded by mi dad.... sianz... but heck care haha..... dun care. :P

mi bro gave me two heart attacks today. one was in the afternoon i think, abt to go to the toilet, then he suddenly ran in, din see him, nearly crashed into him, scared me, i screamed lah.... idiot. and he kept laughing, saying how he is like kenshin... wadeva lah... kenshin so much better hehehehe~ then 2nd time was juz now, again i was abt to enter e toilet, then my mum called my bro, and he came shooting out of his rm, we nearly crashed into each other again, this time both of us screamed and my mum was laughing.... dots.... my family hell-bent on giving me heart attacks todae arh.... diaoz.

oh ya.... i've been injuring my left hand.... i wonder y.... yesterdae play tennis injured once, todae play injured again, all bcos hold wrong part of e tennis racket. then juz now carry things injured e wrist. sigh. and i burnt my finger. haiz.

huan zhu ge ge 3 started todae.... so sad.... no more zhao wei and alec su and lin xin ru.... some more xiao jian, e emporer, empress, ling fei niang niang and all change le..... :( i saw e new empress, kept laughing. my goodness. she looks so demure and erm nice now. e old empress better, got tt LOOK. even e emporer looks funny. the new ziwei looks even more demure, but erm sickly? haha.... dunno i still think lin xin ru better. AND I STILL PREFER ZHAO WEI AND ALEC SU!!!!!!!!!!! they e cutest and funniest and e bestest (no such word i know). i miss zhao wei as xiao yan zi... tt big big eye which is so capable of expressing her various emotions, those playfulness and all..... she's still e best. yah quite disappointed, tot give these new leads a chance since my grandma said it was ok, but then watch for a few mins, found this one super corny. haiz.... and e storyline is quite nice lor. focus on xiao yan zi's development, maturing into a married woman. haiz. sad sad...... my dear little swallow no more le.... cries..... haiz.... on a brighter note, since my parents dun let me watch, its a gd thing e leads change... haha... cos if is still zhao wei they all i sure argue say i want to watch one... if cannot watch sure very very sad.... hmm.... maybe after a's will buy e vcds to my fair princess 1 and 2.... kekeke.....

ritez, tt all. hist essay here i come!!!! (ARGH)




haha...someone at 3 am went out into e streets in his sch uni wanting to go to sch as he tot it was 6.30... kekeke.... so farni... note to tt someone, this poem is fer u!!! haha~ beware of e THREE witches.... keeke

Double Double Toil and Trouble - 3 Witches

1 WITCH. Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.
2 WITCH. Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin'd.
3 WITCH. Harpier cries:—'tis time! 'tis time!
1 WITCH. Round about the caldron go;
In the poison'd entrails throw.—
Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty-one;
Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' the charmed pot!
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
2 WITCH. Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
3 WITCH. Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
Witches' mummy; maw and gulf
Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark;
Root of hemlock digg'd i the dark;
Liver of blaspheming Jew;
Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse;
Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips;
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver'd by a drab,—
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
For the ingrediants of our caldron.
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
2 WITCH. Cool it with a baboon's blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.

i wanna celebrate halloween!!!!!!!!! i want to dress up and get sweets!!!!! :D






todae had 03a3 class phototaking after econs tut... hahaha.... kamsya and tiffy brought their own cameras.... keke.... all so enthu taking photos.... think take for more than 1 hr hahaha..... monday got another class phototaking again, this time im gonna bring my cam! kekeke....

on da way home, met someone on e bus.... was so surprised to see her haha.... guess who guess who??? hehehe~ its xinru... yup yup... me so blur... din see her, sat in front of her some more... guess me engrossed in mi conversation w pei xuan haha.... yah then suddenly someone tapped my shoulder, turned ard and was surprised to see her... haha... then we tok lor... talked abt econs and mi prelims... and of course tt stupid person we both know lah.... ha yah... tt person is damn lucky to have xinru as his cuzz.... she's so concerned abt him.... i could only wish i'd have a cousin like her.... already my cuzz tutoring mi econs is on e verge on giving up on me, but xinru still believes in tt person no matter what... only if he will belief in himself. we can talk and talk to him and wadeva, but if he has decided he doesnt want to change, then there's seriously no pt in it le.... sometimes i wonder y is it tt i still bother to treat him so nice.... cos he doesnt seem to appreciate it.... but then xinru treats him so nicely too and he still like this. haiz.

tr also has been on my case abt xiao chian.... haha... she's very worried i'd give myself away to him or sth... haha.... pls lah... he oni a fran.... i barely even noe him how to like him in tt way haha.... to me, he's an eye candy keke.... all we talk abt is his work and my sch, e usual crapping and erm mac.... haha... he calls me his sis cos im younger than him, i call him my bro cos he's older than me... it's like erm acknowledging? haha.... and i know he wont do anything disastrous to me cos my ex-boss knows him. she was a manager at boon lay mac last time. and there's a reason why he is chosen as manager.... not anyone could be a manager... he must have respect, be friendly, responsible and all... so yah... dun worry, im not tt stupid to let him know all abt me so fast haha.... like he doesnt tell me personal stuff abt himself too....

xc is also a way for me to forget him.... e excitement of meeting a new friend, and getting to know him more helps me to forget him... cos whenever im alone and im idle, memories of the past comes back to haunt me, and with each memory comes a stab of pain... so if i focus more on e excitement of having a new friend, i wont have to think of him... i wont think of him tt often. havent u noticed e change in me e past few days? not only have i talked to him less, i've also cut down on my interactions w zy and js... i dont talk to him cos i dont see y i shd always be e one who takes e initiative to call or sms him when he cant even be bothered to do so. to me, our friendship now seems more to be in name then in a real friendship. i've learnt there's no pt investing so much in a friendship when e other cant be bothered to do e same. so dont worry, im not gg to spend every min wondering over xc and what he's doing and all cos i've learnt there's no pt in it. if i do so, it's only in jest. im also holding back who i really am to him, cos even though i know he is trustable, i've learnt not to trust. e last thing i need is to like someone right now. its the last thing i want. i've been distracted too much, i cant let it happen again.

as for zy and js, im aware many ppl thinks tt im using them to forget him. i dont want ppl to get tt idea, i dont want to ruin their reputation and i dont want them to get e wrong idea. so i've been trying to leave them alone. xc doesnt know abt my private life, so he wouldnt care abt this. neither am i using xc in tt sense. im not using xc as an alternative to him, and i do not want to use zy or js or any other guy as an alt to him. i want to make sure tt if i like a guy, its cos its him, not cos he's like someone else. and i dont want ppl to think tt. so i've been trying to cut myself away frm them.

i guess u've got a clearer picture now. thanks for being concerned abt me, but rest assure, i know what im doing. let's just say tt i wont allow myself to be so gullible anymore. and i dont think xc is trying to use me... i dont know how to explain tt, but i juz dont think so, frm e way we "chat" w one another and frm my experience.... but if he's trying to, tt shd really be e last thing on his mind, cos i wont allow myself to be used in tt way. so dont worry abt me k? thanks.





hmm... got back lit paper 1 todae... got 62/100 overall for it... highest i ever had for p1 so far... but a levels better be higher haha~ yah then tt stupid tr kept assulting me, beat me... and used MY calculator to whack me... liaoz hao xin mei hao bao.... lend u cal u whack me w it.... dots... idiot....two more lit papers to go.... if i pass both i'll pass lit.... haiz hope can pass... maybe get a c? hehe~

then oh yah... skipped lunch todae.... cos had hist consultation... haha.... used to skip lunch very often in sec sch and sometimes during council life.... haha.... hmm... maybe shd skip lunch more often... then can jian fei... haha....

ritez... erm i dun think got anything else le... haha.... gomene mi getting distracted by kenshin haha.... oh well... hee~ dun feel like gg for gp lesson tmr hhaha... oh well... we'll see... keke... k byez! go do survey le...





HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY ZHIYU!!!!!!!!!! hahaha~ see i told u i will remb, u dun believe me... :P wo shuo de dao, zhuo de dao! hehe~ hope ya like e prez yah.... although feli told me u seem to b having a hard time carrying it ard... haha....

this morn, passed zhiyu's pres to him... he got a shock haha... at first he thought it was a portrait.. aye, portrait of who ah? me ah? hehe~ then he guessed it was jigsaw... correct! haha~ then i make him guess some more... so fun... hehe~ he could guess tt it was slam dunk, but he din noe which k'ter.... like duh, it was e five main team players lah, but tt doofus kept thinking it was juz one k'ter... haha. hee~ he so happy... and surprised. i like giving ppl surprises, esp if its sth they like but dun expect... haha.... :P his reaction super funny la.... pity got no camera... heh....

then after tt... erm... nth much. got to do e climate survey... haiz. sian sian... oh ya.... got my cca record, trying to push to B... haha... short of one pt then B le... hehe~ kewl... haha.... oh yah... pon gp test... haha... well my gp teacher din tell us until todae.... too bad lorhz... haha.... but seriously i got no mood to do lor.... juz wanna go home asap and cont'd my study prog... haiz... so stressed... getting more scared by e day.... e look on mr anand's face todae at my dismal results so far really scared me... he keeps reminding me of e need to get nth less than a full cert, and expects me to go to uk for my uni education... sigh... so many ppl expect so much frm me, im really scared i'll disappoint them.... cannot stand it....

sigh.... got tuition todae...sian... haven finish e econs mcqs... die lah.... still have drqs and all.... die...... tmr staying in sch to study w brenda...sigh... k tt's all... bye




no new results todae... paul chow hasnt marked finish my class scripts.... so no screaming frm him to me hahaha....

my patience w two idiots in my class is getting very very short.... they're just testin it... one day im seriously going to blow up and yell at them.... really. for heaven's sake, stop whining and complaining about everything under the sun!!! pls, u r guys.... stop acting like girls (or rather, worse than girls....) so what if ur hist consultation slot is at 2 plus, aint my grp's fault. serves u right for not booking it fast enough! who ask you to keep procrastinating... its nobody's fault except yours!!!!!! your arguments are not even legitimate, neither are your accusations! and just because you cant get the things you want, doesnt mean that others are at fault! stop putting the blame on ms lim! U SHD BE THANKFUL TT SHE EVEN BOTHERS TO HELP U!!!!!!!!!! u think u're so good, well i dont see u scoring a or anything. u say that ms lim is being selfish, tt's y she chose to put u guys at such a late slot. for goodness sake, god didnt give u a brain so tt u can make such childish remarks!!!! use ur pea brains and think! before u, she has other grps consulting her too, plus on fri she is already FULLY BOOKED. its not like she placed u ppl there on purpose, who ask u to be so slow!!!!!!! u r like wat, one of the ppl scoring the worse hist grades in class, and she is wants u all to go for consultation to HELP U for A's, is it so hard to just go?! not like u will die right. u aren't the only one who is sacrificing ur time, she is too! AND FOR UR BLOODY SAKE! u dont even deserve it! hell, she's so much more busy than u, but all u do is complain about how unfair it is! fuck off and shut up! find someone else to listen to ur whines, just stay the bloody hell away from me!!!!!!!!!

what more, i have to clear up the shit for u time and time again. the case of u and ur gf is one. pls, keep ur hands, mouths, wadeva off each other will u? u rant and rave at ppl who spread the videos and msgs abt u two, but yet u have no qualms abt putting such acts of display in public, seriously can u blame them? U URSELF R NOT MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!! and ppl dont go to class to see the two of u kissing and wadeva, go get urselves some other secluded rms, not our classrm, thank u very much. ppl go there to study or sth, not watch some entertainment we honestly would rather not see. IT IS SIMPLY DISGUSTING. its gross! have some decency will u? how abt being more considerate to others? honestly, even other couples dont do these, at least they have the brains to keep such acts in private. or do it somewhere else. instead of criticising others, take a look at urselves. sometimes i just feel like puking watching the two of u!!!!!!! somebody just shoot me.

AND, if u dont want to go to sch, or attend any lessons, dat is ur own fucking problem! dont drag me into ur shit as well! tell the teacher urself if u're not going to turn up, dont ask me to do it! im in enough trouble as it is trying to find excuses explaining ur absence, while u happily hide in some corner w ur gf doing god-knows-what. talk about being considerate, u r so damn inconsiderate. if it were a few times, fine, but not ALL THE TIME!!!!! and u wouldnt even help me even if my reasons were perfectly legitimate!!!!!! wtf... im so sick and tired of the teachers coming after me, asking me where the hell r u, asking me to call or msg and find out the reason for ur absence, asking me to find out if u're even going to turn up!!!! and im sick of having to keep piles and piles of ws and what nots for u when u dont even bother taking them frm me!!!!!! and if i pass them to u, u start complaining and whatever! FOR GOODNESS SAKE, I WOULDNT TAKE THEM IF I DIDNT HAVE TO, U BLOODY ASSHOLE!!!!!!! thank ur lucky stars i actually did alright. and if u dont turn up, that's ur own prob, ur own fault, have some decency and ask me what the hell u missed, not EXPECT ME TO REMB EVERYTHING FOR U AND TELL U EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!!!!!! U CAN GO TO HELL!!!!!!!! i am not ur personal secretary or diary or whatever, i have MY OWN LIFE as well, i cannot remember everything for u! stop blaming me if it slipped my mind alright, u're the one at fault in the first place! SO JUZ FUCK OFF ALRIGHT, JUZ FUCK OFF! IM SICK OF U, AND IM DISGUSTED BY U!! u dont deserve any respect from me, or from any other self- respecting individuals out there!!!!!!!!!!! IM NOT UR SLAVE, IM NOT UR SERVANT!!!!!!!!! STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE!!!!!! get a life, stop living off others. GROW UP!

argh, just typing this makes me want to puke... ewwww......... rite, now tt that's off my chest... moving on. erm... not much le... lunch w tr in e canteen, miq joined us. hell ya, two pink freaks hahaha! yup, miq is a pink freak too! haha~ tr cant stand us le heh~ me and miq were comparing who was pinker, liaoz his rm damn pink la. dots.... haha. he super funny... describe how pink his rm is, then realise how gay he sounded... haha... but anw, pretty refreshing to see a guy so proud of being a pink frek. yeah man. u go miq!!!!!!! hahaha~ and we were talking abt e hist-geog camp, those were e days man... laughing at tt time, guorong kena chased by policeman, super funny. those who wanna know, ask me urselves. oh yah, he was also telling me how mk and silvest damn scared to play wc against him... haha... yah lah miq, u very gd lah, study more lah hahaha... if not, next yr can have competition on who pinker, u or deniece... haha....

ritez, then came home le. tt's all. byez!

the rose - me

the rose bloomed in the summer sun
i lifted my hands
my heart sang for joy
in its full beauty
our love blossomed
i was mesmorised
by its glory

a petal fell, it cant be saved
my tears flowed
the heart breaks
what happened to
my lovely rose?
once it was beautiful
now it has grown to waste

memories shroud me, unwanted
i was lost
in another time
the thorn pricks
blood will not be stemmed
i am reminded
of my present misery

my arms flailed, i clutch nothing
the rose lays wilted
in its exquisite vase
this emptiness stabs
at me, i feel
pain. tell me
why have you gone?




no prelim results todae.... pat lim's lesson was taken over by a "dialogue session" w mr koh (more like monologue). yah well.... bulk of mi classmates din even bother turning up... ha... yah well, turns out e grad nite will be on e 30th instead of e first of dec this yr... tt's e only thing new for me... rest of e info i knew already... yah... ha how apt tt they used ms yap to speak to us and promote tt event, wad w her optimism and all haha... but she basically had us laughing away haha.

after tt, no lesson. so went to norlinn's res for mee soto w idayu... e whole time she was like, "i'm going on a date w ym to eat mee soto!" and then, when we reached dere, e stall had closed down.... dots.... so fast close down le!!!!!! no fair!!!!!!! no mee soto! :( ended up at jurong spring mac(idayu so mean! refused to go to boon lay mac... :()ha.... annie and gary oso ended up at mac cos the chinese stall they were gg to was closed too... haha... all camping at mac at 9 am in e morning hehe.... yah then xiao chian called mi! he naughty, used mac's phone to call when he is not supposed to(cos boss not in lah!) haha.... dots....

after tt, had consultation w mdm lee... yah she too expected me to get an A in gp... sigh.... turns out mi essay emphasis on e wrong part of e qn too...haiz... have to see her another time to consult on my paper 2....sigh....

then went to lib to study... sianz... haha.... did econs mcqs... sigh....

hist lec after tt. mi new hist grp is annie, gary, daisy and me... hist grp consultation this thurs after sch.... sianz.... haha... after hist lec got hist consultation... haha... but frm next wk onwards, will be every tues... we skipping gp fer hist haha... so bad haha.... :P

then after sch, went lot 1 to meet lp... met steven in e bus stop... tt duffus trying to hide frm me! haha.... but i saw him anw haha... went to lot 1 tog... while me and lp eating, he was like half aslp lah... haha~ yahz.... got mi jigsaw frm lp too :) hee~

k tt's all todae, mi gonna watch samurai x!!!!! yay!!!! hehe~ tmr got paul chow's lesson... someone shd juz shoot him, he's prolly gonna yell at everyone again. bring ear plugs ppl!!!!!!!! hahaha~




Mario Winas and Shola Adams remix

MW:
Somebody said they saw you
the person you were kissing wasnt me
and i would never ask you
i just kept it to myself

I don't wanna know
if your playin me
keep it on the low
cuz my heart cant take it anymore
and if your creepin
please dont let it show
oh baby i dont wanna know

SA:
Last week when you were cruisin
your best friend moved one on me
i didn't want to tell you
so i just kept it to myself

You should really know
i aint playin you
babe u gota know
cos your love is all im livin for
and if you look in to my eyes
and you will know
oh baby you should really know

MW:
Baby taught you better than this
Baby i want to fall asleep
But your showin all those things
that you used to do to me
if your better off that way
baby all that i can say
go and do your thing
and stay away from me
(SA:your the only one i see)

SA:
well u know i got ya
anything u do boy u know i support you
how could u think i could do this to you
i thought wifey would mean more to you
i aint sayin i wasnt there that day
im just tryin to state it didnt happen that way
naila boss the names is true the game is true u know i belong to you

MW:I don't wanna
SA:You should really
MW:I don't wanna
SA:You should really

MW:
I don't wanna know
if your playin me
keep it on the low
cuz my heart cant take it anymore
and if your creepin
please dont let it show
oh baby I dont wanna know







HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE!!!!!!!!!! U R FINALLY 18 hee~ yay! today is my best fran's birthday!!!!!!!!! although i wasn't able to celebrate w her, i did give her a call... haha.... she was so surprised hahaha.... yay! my fran of 11 yrs le.... hehe~ last time, during her bd, always go over to her house to celebrate, tog w her family and relatives.... so fun! still keep all those photographs... think can make a scrapbook le hahaha.... yuppies.... hope u had a great day today gal, and all e best in everything!!!! jiayou for a's k????? ganbatte! and hope our friendship will cont on and on and on and on and on!!!!!!!!!! hehe~ see ya after a's! *hugs*

todae woke up sp early.... had tuition... in e end my cuzz was late, cos he woke up late.... diaoz.... then after tt, lp was like chasing me, ask mi to hurry up go to orchard and pei ta.... so rushed... didnt dare to wear until nice nice one, cos scared my parents will scold.... esp since is marc is concerned.... so dressed down, but had to wear skirt, mi and lp agreed on it. in e end, my mum made me change my skirt and top, say i muz wear nicer ones, opened my wardrobe and chose for me, chose a nice blouse(one of my fav one, which i only wear on more formal occassions) and skirt... then after tt, she made me change bag as well, ask mi to take a nicer bag... liaoz ppl see le think i attending wedding or sth... then before i left, she ask mi if i got wear lipstick. i was like, what!!! no i didnt (and i wouldnt dare). then she asked me if got wear lip gloss, i was like, no... (k, this is freaky)... then she started lecturing me and say i shd wear lip gloss... in e end didnt cos i wore shoes le, and she chased mi out of the house... -_-"... sth wrong w her... hahaha... so freaky seh.... wonder wad came over her all of a sudden ha.

reached there, super sian la.... about to alight frm e bus, some idiot stepped on my sandals, and e clasp broke.... was stuck at e bus stop, called lp to come over, called feli to bring safety pin and msged my mum... and u know what? my mum actually called me to buy a new shoe.... (yes... i know... maybe pigs can fly after all!) so ended up walking to far east to buy, cos where i was are all expensive shops... dragged myself there haha... finally found one nice one, 19.90, lp was like, u dont need to save $$ for ur mum one lah, juz buy if u like... haha... i like it a lot, so buy lor... when e salesgirl figured out what had happened, she kept laughing at me... sian.... then she asked me if want to throw away the shoe or she give me a box (!), but since mi mum want mi to bring back my spoilt shoe, decided to take e box... then after tt, walked round pacific plaza w lp... haha....yah then feli msg me ask mi to go hmv there, so we went there.... strolled there haha.... saw 190, zi wei in tt bus, hahaha....

yah then went to marche for lunch... nth much happened there.... juz buy food and makan... all share food... but i like e crepes best hehe~ and had salmon sashimi... hehe.... yummy! i like my raw salmon w lots of wasabi, jie xin and zw see le were like, my god! hahhaha... but still yummy(although very ex :P) then since we all share food, so added up everything and divided btw e eight of us... yup yup....

met keith at lido, he watched resident evil... was discussing 4/1 chalet, but so far he oni know ngee ann and sp's hol dates, so can oni cfm later.... yupz...after tt, jz,zw,fabian,edmund and mk went to watch new police story... then since me,lp and feli watch le so din watch... wanted to watch white chicks, but my mum dun allow(k, so by tt time she is normal le)...say i have to be home for dinner... so walked round isetan while waiting for jh and glendon to arrive... we walk e ladies section until sian le, so end up at e lingerie section... then jh call, ask us where r we, we tell him to come to e bra section(purposely one)... haha... he came, din dare to come in, glendon came in and talk to us, all e aunties all staring at him hahaha... he not shy la haha, we all laughing at jh, finally he dare to come in but was blushing like hell haha... then we some more show them some nice bras haha... jh cannot tahan, oni glendon can, but in e end jh drag glendon elsewhere... haha...

then we went down to e cosmetics there... look at bags and shoes and jewellery... then jh call again to ask us where r we... then he came down... this time he dare to join us la hahaha.... so funny, everything we see tt is pink and super girl, we will tell glendon tt is suitable for his gf(who is edmund by the way hehe)... tt's how we waste time haha... then tired, went to mccafe to sit and crap hahaha.... jh damn sian le lor, cos mi and glendon had to leave, then lp leaving w me, feli dunno want to stay or not cos she oso sian le, so in e end all of us left... w jh grumbling cos he wasted $ to come down hahaha... and we learnt one thing today, jh can get lost in orchard hahaha.... glendon was telling us e stories of how he din even know where isetan is.... hahaha.... instead he nearly went hmv there cos he tot isetan was dere hahaha... glendon had to save him haha.... so while we were walking to e mrt station, we made jh walk in front, see if he will get lost... super funny lor hahaha... jh damn pai seh lor, cos he cannot navigate through orchard hehe.... yah then jh nearly wanted to board the wrong train haha... lp had to explain him y cannot take tt line, hahaha.... yah then jh on e train was like, y muz change train... need to change meh? all of us down there nearly fainted... liaoz of course muz change train at city hall lah... hahaha....die le jh, u mrt oso dunno how to take hehe....

then at clementi, left jh on e train(hmm... he shdnt be lost anymore bah haha), glendon went home, e rest of us went to e pasar malam to buy jigsaw frame... finally here le... bought 4, 2 for me, 2 for lp... feli went to buy dinner.... yah then after tt went home....

had chicken rice for dinner...dots... my mum so chicken frantic now... too long nvr eat this kind of nice chicken le hahaha.... make me eat so much chicken... dots... after tt say im getting fat le... liaoz their actions super contradictory lor.... dots....

k,tt's all for todae... dun think there will be anymore outings for me until after a's le... byez...




got back some more prelim results today.... was really disappointed.... first period was gp.... scored a total of 50/100... c6... sucks.... for the first time, i failed my paper 1.... 22.5/100.... make tt first time i ever failed an english essay... according to e marker, i didnt answer part of the qn.... wtf.... guess i killed myself by choosing one of the hardest qn to do.... again.... this cont'd, i might as well say bye to a levels....

and i got back my econs as well.... wow my econs essays had a 25/75.... wtf.... again, last qn chose wrong one again, only had 4/25.... bravo.... what e hell is wrong with me then, i have absolutely no idea. mcq failed, again.... 8/30... sucks.... practice past yr papers also no point..... only improvement was drq, managed to pass this time, failed case study as well.... overall, flunked econs.... 35/100....F.... hallelujah....

what can i say? my parents will be so disappointed in me.... again.... and my econs tutor, who has been telling me i've been improving, will be so disappointed too.... and im very disappointed in myself... hello, eng supposed to be a1 and now oni get c6.... What the Hell am i doing to myself? what is wrong with me?!!!!! major in what english... i might as well dream on... c6 for english still want to major in english... and i thought tt was my best, but i guess i was wrong. looks like im really not good at anything at all, except failing and disappointing everyone... hell i shd juz go and kill myself now to prevent bringing more misery to ppl. and econs.... i have nth to say already.... study so much, study so hard, study study study, study until i eat, drink, sleep and dream of econs... but still bloody fail... im such an idiot.... fail again.... i dont know what to do anymore, to do w myself anymore.... is it really possible i can get a b????? maybe i really am dreaming, to think tt jc is cut out for me..... perhaps i shd have rebelled and gone to poly instead.... seeing all those disappointed faces only makes me feel worse abt myself.... maybe i shd juz forget abt education altogether.

after sch, was supposed to go out w johnson they all... but looking at my results.... i had no mood.... was thinking of going home and pile myself with hw.... but lay ping caught me and asked mi to go westmall and eat bk w her.... after tt, went to lp's house to do jigsaw puzzle for my friend's bd.... was msging xiao chian as well.... thanks bro.... ha even though know him for such a short time, he still consoled me.... haha.... yah managed to do half of the jigsaw, lp's bro and cuzz keep disturbing us... haha her cuzz so cute...small kid pretending to be spiderman... haha.... monday going back dere again to cont'd w e jigsaw....

sigh....dunno if can go out tmr.... haiz.... dont wanna think abt this anymore.... i already feel so much like a failure.... haiz....