todae had 03a3 class phototaking after econs tut... hahaha.... kamsya and tiffy brought their own cameras.... keke.... all so enthu taking photos.... think take for more than 1 hr hahaha..... monday got another class phototaking again, this time im gonna bring my cam! kekeke....

on da way home, met someone on e bus.... was so surprised to see her haha.... guess who guess who??? hehehe~ its xinru... yup yup... me so blur... din see her, sat in front of her some more... guess me engrossed in mi conversation w pei xuan haha.... yah then suddenly someone tapped my shoulder, turned ard and was surprised to see her... haha... then we tok lor... talked abt econs and mi prelims... and of course tt stupid person we both know lah.... ha yah... tt person is damn lucky to have xinru as his cuzz.... she's so concerned abt him.... i could only wish i'd have a cousin like her.... already my cuzz tutoring mi econs is on e verge on giving up on me, but xinru still believes in tt person no matter what... only if he will belief in himself. we can talk and talk to him and wadeva, but if he has decided he doesnt want to change, then there's seriously no pt in it le.... sometimes i wonder y is it tt i still bother to treat him so nice.... cos he doesnt seem to appreciate it.... but then xinru treats him so nicely too and he still like this. haiz.

tr also has been on my case abt xiao chian.... haha... she's very worried i'd give myself away to him or sth... haha.... pls lah... he oni a fran.... i barely even noe him how to like him in tt way haha.... to me, he's an eye candy keke.... all we talk abt is his work and my sch, e usual crapping and erm mac.... haha... he calls me his sis cos im younger than him, i call him my bro cos he's older than me... it's like erm acknowledging? haha.... and i know he wont do anything disastrous to me cos my ex-boss knows him. she was a manager at boon lay mac last time. and there's a reason why he is chosen as manager.... not anyone could be a manager... he must have respect, be friendly, responsible and all... so yah... dun worry, im not tt stupid to let him know all abt me so fast haha.... like he doesnt tell me personal stuff abt himself too....

xc is also a way for me to forget him.... e excitement of meeting a new friend, and getting to know him more helps me to forget him... cos whenever im alone and im idle, memories of the past comes back to haunt me, and with each memory comes a stab of pain... so if i focus more on e excitement of having a new friend, i wont have to think of him... i wont think of him tt often. havent u noticed e change in me e past few days? not only have i talked to him less, i've also cut down on my interactions w zy and js... i dont talk to him cos i dont see y i shd always be e one who takes e initiative to call or sms him when he cant even be bothered to do so. to me, our friendship now seems more to be in name then in a real friendship. i've learnt there's no pt investing so much in a friendship when e other cant be bothered to do e same. so dont worry, im not gg to spend every min wondering over xc and what he's doing and all cos i've learnt there's no pt in it. if i do so, it's only in jest. im also holding back who i really am to him, cos even though i know he is trustable, i've learnt not to trust. e last thing i need is to like someone right now. its the last thing i want. i've been distracted too much, i cant let it happen again.

as for zy and js, im aware many ppl thinks tt im using them to forget him. i dont want ppl to get tt idea, i dont want to ruin their reputation and i dont want them to get e wrong idea. so i've been trying to leave them alone. xc doesnt know abt my private life, so he wouldnt care abt this. neither am i using xc in tt sense. im not using xc as an alternative to him, and i do not want to use zy or js or any other guy as an alt to him. i want to make sure tt if i like a guy, its cos its him, not cos he's like someone else. and i dont want ppl to think tt. so i've been trying to cut myself away frm them.

i guess u've got a clearer picture now. thanks for being concerned abt me, but rest assure, i know what im doing. let's just say tt i wont allow myself to be so gullible anymore. and i dont think xc is trying to use me... i dont know how to explain tt, but i juz dont think so, frm e way we "chat" w one another and frm my experience.... but if he's trying to, tt shd really be e last thing on his mind, cos i wont allow myself to be used in tt way. so dont worry abt me k? thanks.