a girl who spends too much time doing things she shouldn't be doing, like writing. and dreaming. and slacking.
she's insane, which simply drives everyone around her crazy.
feminist and proud of it.
enjoys writing, reading, kendo, chilling, music and has she mentioned writing?
"nobody knows who I really am... but I don't give a damn!"
ITS OVER!!!! its over its over its over its over its over!!!! *does a little jig* its over its over its OVER!!!! *bounce* ok ok, i better stop here before some people start throwing assorted weapons at me. ahem. good luck to those taking/going to take exams!!!!
anyway, this also means that I have officially ended my first year in NUS. NO!!!! i'm no longer a freshie!!!! NOOOO!!!! cannot act blur anymore le... :*( heh~
@@@
take the lead was nice! those dance moves... makes me wanna dance too! haha~ but i shall spare you guys the agony eh? but its a really really nice film, although taking film mod and watching a movie after the paper is not such a good idea. i was like, oh here's another hispanic stereotype! another white stereotype! yada yada yada... haha~
@@@
i can finally start reading my novels!!! so many books i bought but haven't had time to read.. haha~ starting with the historian by elizabeth kostova! i bought it when it just came out, way before it became popular. been sitting on my shelf for eons, and now i can finally read it! yippee!!! and then there's sarah dunant's new novel, and yann martel's hellsinki book, and cathy kelly's book which i bought a long time ago and i dont really remember why i bought it then except that it was cheap and well since i bought it i might as well read it. aha~ makes sense? hah~
nirvana is stuck in my head. 98.7 keeps playing their songs, wahaha~ brings back memories of those good ol' sec sch days. speaking of which, zsa's bd is coming. on the last day of my paper some more. woot! i miss zsa. haha~
smells like teen spirit - nirvana
Load up on guns, bring your friends It's fun to lose and to pretend She's over bored and self assured Oh no, I know a dirty word
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
I'm worse at what I do best And for this gift I feel blessed Our little group has always been And always will until the end
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
And I forget just why I taste Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile I found it hard, it was hard to find Oh well, whatever, nevermind
hello, hello, hello, how low?
With the lights out it's less dangerous Here we are now, entertain us I feel stupid and contagious A mulatto An albino A mosquito My Libido Yay, a denial
i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them! why do they always have to hurt me, to always compare me with someone else, to always belittle me? why? what have i ever done in my life, or my previous life, to hurt them? why do they always have to find excuses for him? for his behaviour, and in the process, blame me for it? what did I ever do? i wasn't even like him! and yet, they find comfort in thinking that i was just like him! and even when im not, they give excuses as to why i wasnt, just to make his behaviour all the more acceptable and normal! why must i be the one under fire when i dont even do the fucking things he does? why? am i such a non-human to them? everything i worked for, it doesnt mean anything to them.
i hate my life. i hate it. i wish i could run away. i want to run away, to go somewhere far far away. or maybe, to just die. then i wouldnt have to live with this dreadful knowledge anymore.
the biggest mistake - nay, crime, i've ever made in my life was to be born a girl.
ahhh... today was AES speech & prize-giving day. was sorely tempted to go back, but alas, im in the midst of exams. *growl* part of the reason was cos my mum wanted me to accompany her to watch my bro recieve his award for senior assumptionite and deliver his speech, the other is to see my students and who are the ones who topped the level. well, this year, they included top scorers in the class as well. unfair! heh~ in my time (ack! feel so old), i had to fight tooth and nail with fellow good friends for the english award. haha~ oh wells. that was eons ago.
and so! my students who won awards!!!! congratulations to all of you!!! i am so proud and happy for you!!! *tear* haha~ really, keep working hard and i'll hopefully see you all taking o levels next year! eheh~ *wonders if they even read this* :P
from 3/6: first - sean!! omg!!! sean!!! ahhh!!! haha~ all i have to say is, its great to see all his hardwork pay off! and this guy is a serious worrywart and spongebob freak (dont even think i spelt the cartoon character's name correctly). heh~
second - zarli! ahhh.... *surprised* really. well, maybe not. kinda hardworking too, i think. hmmmm.... goodies for him!
third - Jerome! ah well, nth to say. wonder if his baby voice is still with him though? haha~
from 3/7: first - Jagjit! yesh well, nothing unexpected, quiet and hardworking boy.
second - Roy!!!! omg! roy!!! one of those who has made the most impact in my *short* teaching career. wahaha~ when i first started, he was a playful boys towner who wrecked havoc, gave me headaches and plain lazy. after some time, he turned over for the better and my afternoons were spent staying back in school tutoring him in chem. glad to see that after i left, he is still working hard, and great to know that its paying off! keep working hard roy! im proud of you!!!!
third - Vu! a vietnamese... amazing adjustment he made. not surprised there either.
what im surprised about this class is that those bookworms didnt win any. i wonder why??? nevertheless, keep working hard!
from 3/8: first - Hong Nhung! another vietnamese! really quiet, hardworking gal. the effort she put in, commendable! ever willing to learn.... congrats girl!
second - Amanda! well well well.... playful amanda! one who loves to disturb me... well actually majority of the people in this class like to disturb me. haha~ but then again, no surprise that she did well... keep working hard gal!
third - Zahidah! congrats gal! i told you you can do it! :)
special shoutout to sean for getting the elang, d&t and combined humans awards as well! omg omg omg! good work sean! *ahem... i think he will bug me for a treat when i next see him. oh no.....*
the biggest award, i feel, is still that all of them were promoted. one of my students informed me on msn that she still keeps the lil note i gave them... how sweet... glad to know it helps to encourage them! dont lose faith, keep working, keep playing, and you guys will be fine! :)
@@@ alas, its back to the books for me! one paper down, four more to go! get ready for exam HELL WEEK! 25-28 papers, back-to-back. *faints*
happy note: i got bs for my feminism term paper and test. kinda happy with my results! this means i will most certainly be getting a b overall, if i dont screw up (touchwood!!!!!) the final that is. anw, had a chat with my lecturer, she seems to understand my problem. its nice. and she told me not to worry so much, cos this year, my batch seem to be really good, so competition is very tough. gave me a few tips, and that's it! i love feminism. haha~
heh recieved an email for my arts rag pd last yr. from youtube, the rag video of sheares hall! the thing abt sheares hall's rag was that it's just so cool! when i first saw their float, i knew it was gonna win. and it did. so nice and beautiful!!! and seeing it again makes me determined to make this year's arts rag all the better. and the rag dance was so creative!!! haha~ ours was short but to-the-point. this yr, i wouldnt be dancing though. doubt it. wenhui will kill me. haha~ anw, a treat for u all! sheares hall rag video below! watch if u want, it's good! :) hope that arts rag will be great this year too!!
@@@ *edit* heard from 98.7fm that the cost of placing an ad on the season finale of american idol is now 1.3million US!!! wow! and for 30 seconds only!!!! reminds me of what i learnt at en2113. heh~
Monday: jogged 6 rounds around the NUS track... 2.4km. wow. brings back memories of NAPFA yeh? o.O
today (tuesday): 700 suburis with kirikaeshi as finishing. maybe i went mad somewhere. haha~ but it wasn't that bad.... kinda fun actually. :P did suburis with siew and zibin. well... siew and i planned it after jogging yesterday, mw was supposed to join us but she fell sick today, poor girl. so while me n siew n thin were studying, zibin saw us (i highly suspect he saw our shinais first) and he asked us if we were training. told him we were going to do some suburis, and he said he'll join if he's free. in all honesty, i didn't think he would really join us. so, when me n siew reached mpsh, we were surprised to see him sitting there studying, waiting for us to come cos he didnt know what time we were coming. awww.... haha~ so we practised.
usual warm-up... i think he got quite amused at us. gah. then 50 jogeiburi(sp), 50 sayu-jogeiburi, 50 shomen uchi, 50 sayu- shomen uchi, 40 hayasuburis.... then it was sets of 100 of different variations of shomen uchi as well as kote men, and we ended off with another 20 sets of the jogeiburi etc. after which, we had kirikaeshi in which zb kindly corrected our mistakes and told us more about grading (which is coming. *faints*). overall, it was good. had some difficulty with the footwork at first, couldn't slide properly. i STILL need to work on tenouchi... but the issue of too much right-hand (or too much left-hand, for the matter) seems to be improving... i hope. well the reflection seems to be so. if not, i'll blame my reflection. hehe~
anw, with exams coming in gasp! 2 days, highly doubtful we'll be meeting up for such sessions again. ah wells. shall train at home and hopefully not break a hole in the ceiling and have neighbours -literally- dropping in. hahaha~ and maybe jog around bukit batok nature reserve on weekends. hooray. ym is on stamina-building and slimming programme. well the stamina one hopefully its improving, the slimming one.... WAHAHAHA, who am i trying to kid. *bleah*
@@@ faith kindly informed me that we'll be having an og chalet after exams. guess when is the og chalet?
you guessed it! 8th to 10th of may! hooray. everything clashes. argh. my life sucks. some physics thingy taicho sarcastically remarked before... cant remb now. brain dead, so sue me. :P anw, thank goodness that the og chalet is at aloha loyang, pasir ris. cos it means that i can walk over after my kendo chalet. costa sands (pr) and aloha loyang (pr) are seperated by a carpark (which is free, btw). so yah. so i will be most likely having a 3d2n camp, erm chalet, erm chalets. heh. and then train on thurs? o.O *faints*
@@@ i shall stop mumbling on and on about my boring existence. hehe~ ok, i will go back to studying. yes i will. yes i will. as soon as the cobwebs leave my brain *shinais fly at me* ok ok, i AM going back to studies, i promise!
i wrote a new poem today *bounces* been so long since i last wrote one, haha~ nice to know that i can still write poems.... hehe~ although how i got the inspiration this time around is a mystery. I was reading some dark/angsty stories during a study break when it started pouring, thunder, lightning and all, and then it hit me! haha~ it's funny sometimes. anyway, if you want to read it, click here. i'm not posting it here cos well, it's dark and angsty and i know not everyone will enjoy reading such stuff... so yah. anywayz, if you do read it, please read and review! thankies!!! :)
and i better head back to studying. muahaha~ ym is having a headache. grrr.... scratch that. migraine. yah. growl.
@@@ the thing about not running for so long, and then running again for 4 rounds, is that your muscles end up aching the next day. goody for me. i'm most likely going to run again later, if the weather allows. either at bukit batok nature reserve, or the area surrounding my place. hmmmm.... i much prefer the reserve, with the trees, birds and NO CARS. haha~ oh wells, will see.
@@@ projects are over, so are assignments, and now, gasp! it's time for exams.... growl. haha~ this semester has passed by so fast, i'm kinda still in a shock that i've got no more school, only a week of exams, and then it's 3 months break. this sem is so fast that you feel as though you haven't got the time to stop and breathe at all. i guess that was because i took a level 3000 module, what more a 200+ module, which many claim to be suicide and a moment of craziness. yes well, i'm insane. so put me in the mental hospital, why don't you. wahaha~
i can't wait for school to be over. although the sem felt so short, it's really energy-draining, and i feel like i havent slept in eons. yah. so, i cant wait to actually be able to chill and enjoy life again. hehe~ alrightz, back to studies. ciaoz! *grumbles to self*
it is 9pm. my project group members were supposed to come and meet at 8pm, but not even half of them are online. like seriously, who the hell do they take me for? first off, they last minute come and pile more workload on me, even when they know i have other essays and another project going on as well, and then when i stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to do the project, most save one did not even fucking bother to contribute to the discussion or even help me. like im asking them to give me their life ! im just asking for some help, some fucking consideration, but they cant even fucking care! im wondering why the hell should i care, except that my grades would get seriously affected, and if it wouldnt even affect my grades i wouldnt even give a shit about it since obviously, they've given up on it. but hello! u asked me to take over your parts, i agreed to it cos i thought u'd done some work and u promised to help me with it, but when i asked for help last night, you didnt even fucking bother, heck no, you even dared to ask me to figure it out myself! and then, you had the GALL to read through and start complaining about the quality of the work! FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL! rot for all i care. i swear, if i were to see either one of them right now, especially one particular person, i would cause serious bodily harm to said person. the person better be thanking his lucky stars that i am not beside him this very moment and that i do not have my shinai or bokken or a weapon of some sort with me.
my mum had to literally pry me away and force me to sleep last night, but even then i didnt bother. i wanted to finish the stuff asap so that they could read through it and edit and have a say, but what the hell, first, they dont even bother turning up for this meeting, and second, the one who does doesnt even have any constructive comments to say! and then when i hand it up, they'll prob start complaining and giving me crap and i will honestly stuff a shovel down their throats if they so much as dare to whine. or make a sound, for that matter. im so disgusted and disappointed with them man. i cant even be bothered to be pissed anymore. just plain DISGUSTED. hello! i need to study too! i need a life too! i've got exams coming too! i need to fucking get through university too! im sacrificing my social life, my sleep, my studies and my HEALTH for this project and there you are twiddling your thumbs and not giving two hoots abt it. i have half a mind to submit the project with only my name and another girl's on it, cos only that other girl bothered to ask me to give her some stuff and ACTUALLY help, although sadly she's not online now.
grr. what is WRONG with these people man! they love to disturb me for meetings and what-nots when a) on days i have trainings and b) when im busy rushing an assignment. so im sorry i wasnt so productive during those meetings, but hey, i told u way beforehand and it's not my fault that u like to hold impromptu meetings, so dont assume that just because u're free, im free too. hell no, i am NOT free. but i did bother to find out what went on n despite my business, bothered to help out and now that im free, i took on almost the entire fucking thing and did it asap and to the best of my ability and here u are not even bothering about it! what the fuck man. what the fuck.
thank goodness lit doesnt have so many projects, nor are any of them majoring in lit. if not, i would prob kill one of them if i have to work with said person again, or just commit seppuku to save myself the agony. seriously.
woot! en3245 term paper is finally over and done with! hooooray!!!! stayed up till 4 am last night, suffered heart attacks today, and nearly died from overdose of anime. heh~ never put in so much effort in a module, what more a term paper, before! well done yuen mei! *pat pat* *rolls eyes*
and with that, we bid adieu to feminism: text and theory. i am sad. i like the module. it's so interesting, and well yes i am a feminist. haha~ i want to take up WOMEN'S STUDIES in TUFTS UNIVERSITY!!! the program is like, whoa! mind-blowing. so darn interesting. so darn far away. so darn ex. grrr.
and thanks to my feminism overdose, i am so going to turn my other lit mod essay into a feminist discourse. haha~ amongst other things, of course. ;)
@@@ we also bid ciao to nm2102 - lectures. the project is still in progress, so not completely adieu yet. my worst module so far, i hope i dont flunk it. hope i dont screw my cap. grrr... the heat is on, and ym is dead. haha~
it isn't so bad... just, the stats is so going to be my death.
@@@ and so, my academic rumblings end here. back to projs and essays and what-nots. on a bright side, i have a date with jamie right after exams!!! woot! going to watch WESTSIDE STORY musical!!!! yay!!! haha~ the movie was nice, heard the musical's real good too. yippee!
and after that, will be kendo juniors outing to kbox! yay! 6th may people! *excited* will be my first time going to kbox(yes i am deprived), and first in a long long long long time (since like primary school) to go karaok-ing. hehe~
followed with *drumroll* KENDO CHALET!!! yay! the poll result is in! 8th-9th may! yeah!
he was making a movie called Stab..... he was stabbed.
i bought Teenage magazine (yes, i still read it) a few days ago and i finally had the chance to flip through it today. and i nearly went bonkers when i read the message from the editor page, for there was a mini-advert looking for interns for Teenage! woot! should i apply? should i should i? i want to, but then im afraid wenhui will kill me for working and not ragging. and kendo and the whole matric fair booth thingy. argh. but this is a chance, a stepping stone for me into my (hopefully) future career. even better, intern-ing at my fav mag. i should go for it right? haha~ and pray that people dont kill me. (if i get the internship, if not i will kill myself. :P)
@@@ en3245 essay is unwritten and staring at me. i am staring at it back. let's see if i can write just by staring. haha~
@@@ i said this before and i shall say it again: I HATE HORROR MOVIES!!! :( dont like them. was forced to watch Scream 3 for lit yesterday, and well predictably, i couldnt sleep after that. my mind has this wierd obsession of playing back stuff that has made an imprint in my mind, so well scream 3 being a horror movie, stuck in my mind like a sore thumb and wouldnt get out, so i spent hours relieving those gory scenes again and again until i could have gone nuts. like seriously. so i got up bright and early today after another sleepless night and well yah.
but i still liked a few funny scenes in the movie. it is a funny horror movie. kinda nice too. now, if only it doesnt help to cause me insomnia, i would further appreciate the movie. sigh.
fav lines from the movie: Milton: Did Cotton's death have anything to do with this movie? Officer: He was making a movie called Stab..... he was stabbed. ----- Sidney: Hey detective, what's your favorite scary movie? Mark: my life. Sidney: Mine too. ----- Dewey: is that a threat, detective? Mark: when it's a threat, you'll know it. Dewey: was that a threat? ----- Jennifer: Here's how I see it. I've got no house, no bodyguard, no movie and I'm being stalked. Because someone wants to kill me? No, because someone wants to kill you. So, now, starting now, I go where you go. So that if someone wants to kill me, I'll be with you and since they really wanna kill you, they won't kill me, they'll kill you, make sense? ----- Dewey: the killer called her. Mark: when? Gale: what'd he say? Sidney: Oh you know the usual small talk. "What's new?" "How you been?" "How do you wanna die?"
that's all for now. there's a lot more funny ones. go watch the movie to find out. heh~
@@@ finally dropped by BBDC today to see my instructors. only managed to speak to one of them though, the others like disappeared or something. anyway, that one instructor i spoke to was mr. lim. he cut his hair!!!! now look like a nerd. muahaha~ and grown tanner too, heh :P anyway, he told me that mr. tan got into an accident, a lorry crashed into him while he was riding a motorbike... oh dear... but he's alright, discharged from hospital already, now recuperating at home. got a fractured right arm, but he'll be able to get back to work a month later. ah.. he is lucky. :)
so after i spoke to mr lim and passed him the chocs i brought so he can pass to the rest as well(he better not eat everything...), left bbdc with kathy! yepz, even after like passing, i still run into people i know there. -_-" within the short span of time i was there, i bumped into kathy, hidayah and hamid, and sook fern. OMG! so many people! and hidayah still looks fantas-ta-bulous. :P (I know that word does not exist in the english dictionary). and i had a nice chit-chat session with sook fern. she's going to perth for her university education, majoring in psychology. some people have all the luck. sigh... i actually applied for a few australian universities cos my parents were afraid that i wouldn't get into NUS, but i never found out if i was accepted into any of them cos well, i got my admissions letter into NUS, and well i didnt pay for the application fees. o_O but sometimes i wonder what would it be like if i were able to pursue my degree overseas. sigh. oh wells, no point thinking about that now. by hook or by crook(well not exactly, results-depending), i am going overseas to pursue my er masters. heh~ IF i can do masters, or honors for that matter. IF. big IF.
ok, i went out-of-point, as usual, so back to BBDC. so after meeting and speaking to all of them, i left for lunch in westmall with kathy. MOS BURGER!!! i love mos burger, especially the kakiage rice burger. so yummy-licious! yums. :) anyway, me and kathy made plans to head down to bugis for a shopping spree after exams! woot! time to save money!!!!
after that, kathy left for school, i did my errands and here i am, typing in my blog when i should be typing my en3245 essay, and i am still typing. *blinks* NO MORE KENDO UNTIL AFTER EXAMS!!!! *sobsob* but oh wells... doesnt matter, cos of my injured back. ya, i went to the doctor on monday and she was like, "YOU injured your back 2 weeks ago and you still went for training???!!!!!!!!!" and stared at me like i grew a second head. ok, so i was exaggerating, but you get the point. yah and then she proceeded to ban me from training till i recover. grrr. heh~
no kendo = jogging sessions for ym! going jogging at NUS track tmr with siew. anyone wants to join us? hehe~
been humming this song in my head for some time...
basket case - green day
Do you have the time To listen to me whine About nothing and everyting All at once
I am one of those Melodramatic fools Neurotic to the bone No doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid I'm just stoned
I went to a shrink To analyse my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore She said my life's a bore And quit my whining cause it's bringing her down
Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid I'm just stoned
Grasping to control So I'll better hold on
Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid I'm just stoned
@@@ assignments left: EN3245 term paper: due- friday, 7th EN2113 Final Assignment: due - tuesday, 11th NM2102 Project and JS1101E Project: due - thursday, 13th
i havent thought of what text to use for my en2113 essay. so deaded. and ghost of the shell anime just wont play on my lappy, and it's one of my primary text for en3245. more dead.
@@@ after which, a "week" break for studying, and then, the horror of all horrors : exams!
a girl who spends too much time doing things she shouldn't be doing, like writing. and dreaming. and slacking.