I can't believe that I cried. I swore I won't cry unnecessarily. I cried today. It wasn't called for, it shouldn't have happened but the tears just came. And it showed my weakness. I was weak. Weak in front of the person who pissed me off, who made me so angry I was shaking in fury and I ended up in tears. So apparently, I don't have the right to even sit in the living room anymore, because apparently, just sitting there screws up your oh-so-precious recording of that stupid Korean drama and of course, the drama is more important than me. Oh wow, the entire world suddenly makes sense.

In my family, I've never had the right to speak up for myself, to justify myself, to defend myself. It's always an uphill battle, fighting tooth and claw for my own life, the life I want to lead. Today was another instance. It didn't even make sense about why I was scolded, why I had to be scolded, why I am in the wrong and why I'm even being blamed for something that wasn't even my fucking fault! I mean, HELLO, just sitting in the living room DOING MY OWN WORK and NOT EVEN WATCHING THE TV, or on-ing it, or touching the remote even (period) does not mean that you can assume that I touched the remote or did something to the recorder. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO YELL AT ME FOR SOMETHING I DID NOT DO.

I hate it. I hate this. I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate I FUCKING HATE THIS. Just let me like die or something right now. I don't even want to be around anymore. I'm just so fucking tired.




...that I wrote for a friend's birthday. Out of the blue, just felt like composing something for someone else rather than being all selfish and emo all the time. Can't say this poem is good though...

To view it, click here.