kingdom of heaven is opening soon. who wants to watch with me? cos that guy who has initially promised to go with me about 1 month ago apparently has made plans to watch with others now. he forgot about me. n it pisses me off, cos it gives the feeling that i am so not important to the point that he has forgotten about me. what's the big deal, u say. the big deal is this: if i can shelve aside plans for my friends, u shd do the same for me too. the reason u gave, that so many people ask u to watch, n so u have to go with them, is not an excuse. hello? i have friends too, and i turned them down becos we decided to go together, remember? oh wait. i forgot. im not impotant. my wrong.

am i being unresonable. i dont see how. is it wrong to feel pissed? i dont think so. if it was the first time, perhaps u can be forgiven. but sad to say, it isnt. and sadder to say, u have not changed one bit. it has always been like this, hasnt it? ask urself, how many times have u done this to me? im upset, and i am disappointed in u. honestly, i would ask u to fuck off if not for that promise i gave u. but i tried, and u arent trying. do u know what is the saddest thing of all? the realisation that even when we were together back then some time last yr, u did the same too. i guess u've forgotten. u blew me off time and again for one thing or other, n "im sorry, i forgot" is not a decent explanation nor an acceptable apology anymore. it may be then, but it is not so now. u see, im not that nice anymore. its gotten to a point where i am sick and tired of having to deal with seemingly gd friends like u who constantly forget that i exist just because some other human being wants to book u too. and u know what is the worst thing? u honestly thought that i was joking with u? seriously, u still dare to joke with me? u thought that i was actually pretending to be angry with u? I AM NOT PRETENDING. get this clear. i cannot be the least bothered with u anymore. im tired of this ok? friends like to feel appreciated once in a while too. i do not exist for the sole purpose of making u happy whenever u feel u need it. that is not the defination of friendship. if u want to know, go check the dictionary.

being nice in this damned world is no longer a virtue. its called "stupidity". and alas, people like u dont deserve a single bit of this "stupidity" of mine anymore. u piss me off. dont come to me with an apology, because, i will tell u this : apology unaccepted! until u decide that u can treat me as a human, dont come and look for me. i am not your dog to do your bidding whenever u want me to. i have feelings too! dammnit.

tell me this: have u ever seen me and treated me as a friend, or am i just someone whom u turn to WHENEVER U FEEL LIKE IT?

-you always forget about me-




watched the hours today. such a hauntingly beautiful film. its really good. an honest portrayal of the psyche of a woman. how we have to uphold an image of ourselves, an image of happiness n confidance in front of others, when really, all we want to do is cry. take for example the character of julianne moore. a housewife in what seems to be a perfect family life, like what her friend kitty says, you aren't a woman until you have kids. she not only has a lovely son, but is also pregnant with her second child. but what the people dont know is she's depressed, she's not happy, sth is bugging her. ironically, only her son seems to know. n the parts where she hides in a corner, crying, tugs at the heart and makes u think, how true it is. then there is mrs dalloway, or rather clarissa, whose life may seem perfect n she looks like a happy person, always throwing parties, but actually its a facade to hide the emptiness she feels inside. n of course virginia wolf, by the brilliant nicole kidman, makes this movie all the more endearing to watch. her portrayal of virgina is so real. the voices in the head.... she's not insane, just depressed. but she doesnt survive it. like i said, a brilliant film about woman and life.

went back to jj today. watched rugby match against pj. we lost. pj touchdown in the last minute. we lost by 2 pts. damn it. might not make it to semis. sigh. oh well... what to do. can only hope they win ny n rj or pj loses to ny. sigh.

had a long talk w jinyi today. was surprised when he came to me n told me his probs. that poor guy going through a rough patch right now. wow. we talked for like 3 plus hours straight. hahas. then kinda surprised cos we dun usually talk like this one. usually is like yaya down there. but today he come talk to me, and i can only listen and advice. all i can is this: jinyi, if u ever read this, u can only sort yourself out. no one else can do it for u. u decide ur priorities. i stick by what i said. she is she, ur studies is ur studies. dont let her control your life. dont ruin ur future like this. im sure u know wad i mean. :)

n then, feli also have her own probs. sigh. feli, i told u not to get too involved le. but u always say its not serious. actually i could tell u're gonna sink in deep if u continue this way. look what u've gotten urself into. honestly, i dunno wad to do le. can only tell u honestly tt u'll hurt urself in the end, either way. be prepared for the worst ba.

sigh. love. something we cant live without, yet a potent for danger. why do we fall in love, when we know there's nothing to catch us? why do we belief and want it so much, when we knew it'll end in tears? love - it starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, n ends with a tear. better off without it. at least i'll know not what pain is, and wouldnt have to go through it again. seeing my friends suffer reminds me of then. but i live in the now, n the future. * u always end up getting hurt, that's why they call it a crush* *we fall cos it makes us happy, but when we have fallen, we cry. tt's why it's called falling in love. there's nothing there to catch u when u fall*

-jaded-




so its down to 6 idol wannabes on american idol now. mi bro doesnt understand y i still watch the show, but honestly these 6 r like one of the strongest ever. esp bo bice, carrie underwood n vozell. reallie rooting fer them man. i hope bo or carrie wins.... anthony is juz not consistent enough, constatine got looks but pitchy vocals n im juz not a fan of scott. :P hahas~ BO N CARRIE ROCKS MY SOCKS!!! hehes~ but if neither of them gets it, then vonzell would be next to deserve it. yepz. she's getting better :D

anw, nth much todae. granma came over, went to holland v fer lunch again then went grocery shopping at cold storage. then came home. not feeling too gd, stupid thing came already. oh wells. at least it came after camp. hahas~

wonder who's gg out tonight? hopefully scott. hahas. im mean :P

*the OC is on too! yay!!!!!*




did camp on monday to today w yio chu kang pri, p5 kids. well, this time round, im more prepared. haaa~ but i still learnt new things like outdoor cooking n guess wad? it's also my first time attending an indoor campfire. yesh.... kewl huh! n as they showed me, it could be done, w a lil creativeness. ;)

so anw, trainers involved were mimi, rozita, sarah, wayne, wati, ning han, azlan, mi, hazzie, ismail, david, hisham, kelvin, mai, liza, faizal, azhar, yusri n jeev. had attachees in this camp, 4 in total. zac, shawn, prackash n david. yep. so this is the camp w e largest grp of trainers i've ever seen. haha~ no lack of manpower here, only full of blur new ppl (me included :P). yah. n once again, rozita is my 2 ic. its like wad, for the 3 camps i went to, rozita has been my 2 ic. haha~ see until sian haha~ then mimi was telling us tt we r fated. -_-". n once again, i was sick b4 the camp, this time w flu, which has not fully recovered till now. hahas~ n of course, once more, i had a sleepless nite b4 the camp. hmm.... r they all linked or sth? i wonder....

anw, so ya, reported at dfac, welcomed the campers, bunk in, played ice breakers n did obj setting. 19 students in my grp, mixed classes, grp name coordination. yah i know, very wierd n long, wad to do? had all sorts of names for this camp, had respect, resilience, patience, tolerance, courage, encouragement wadeva.... yah. anw, for ice-breakers, did 007 bang n blow wind blow. this grp enjoyed blow wind blow more. n one diff btw my this grp n siling pri kids: this grp not tt niao. as in they dont every small thing come n find us. so ya, i had an easier n funner time w my this grp :D.

then it was lunch. n then tent pitching, sth new fer mi. learnt how to conduct a tent pitching class. yep. quite alright, we had quite a no. of uniform grp members who knew how to pitch tents, so it went quite smoothly. yah. after tt was general station, n i nearly fainted, which i suspected was due to the overwhelming heat n lack of food(no lunch n almost no breakfast). y no lunch? cos not enough rice. (yes...) n y no breakfast? actually i had, but cos it was real early n my tummy not used to it le, i can only have a small piece of bread. like 1/4 of normal size bread. haiz. wad to do... anw, lucky there was an atachee w my buddy azlan, so i got him to help me look after my kids while i rested n supervise frm there. shit, i reallie hate it man. makes mi feel weak, only i know its not cos its a medical condition which unfortunately im borned w. darn.

after tt, had fun games, tiger tails n tarzan,jane n gorilla. ok went quite smoothly n they had fun. mi n azlan came up w all sorts of movements they had to use for the games. haha! then it was campfire prep which went quite badly cos the kids didnt plan at all n end up i had to teach them a cheer n azlan taught them a song.

then dinner n nite walk. yah. i was stationed there fer both waves, first wave at end pt w wati, learnt a lot there abt how to gather the kids when walk ends n all. then 2nd wave, i was at despatch. yah. one incident happened, i nearly misplaced a walkie talkie. actually it was ismail pass to me, n then at end pt, wati ask mi to take e first aid kit over for her, so i brought over to her n place the talkie on top. then we had to bring the kids back n i forgot abt the talkie cos i thought wati was gonna take it (otherwise y would she want the first aid kit ah?) but well, miscommunication, cos she thought i took it n end up it n the talkie was juz lying there in bukit timah hill! lucky, 2nd wave not much probs n i was freaked out cos starting needed a talkie n i couldnt find it. in the end, at end pt, i went to back of the field where i was sitting during first wave n i found the kit n talkie still on top. phew*. so ya, it was rather freaky, for me.

then it was supper/ debrief for mi grp n then shower n zzzzz. we had debrief n shower n zzzzz after tt.

second day nth much also, my hiong day. did abseiling first, then had harry potter game w my grp, then crc 2(rope obstacles). then it was lunch, we had outdoor cooking which was a mess for mi cos it was my first time n i didnt know wad to do, lucky azlan was there to help mi. n i gotta learn how to use a lighter cos i honestly dont know n cant use one, n match sticks dont help much here. after tt, they cooked while i supervise n end up i had no time to cook n have my lunch. so once more i missed lunch n juz took a drink.

then had problem-solvong, my grp played leap of faith, ok lah, not very gd. then was crc1 n then rock wall. so ya, hiong. haiz.

then we gave out campfire shirts for the campers n then we had an indoor campfire cos they thoutght tt i was gonna rain. yupz. like i said, it was an eye-opener n i was toilet ic as well. yah. campfire was alright, quite gd. got one mad woman (me) at the back cheering ma, hahaha~ ra-raing the kids frm the back cos im toilet ic, n standing at the back makes me more prominent since everyone else is sitting down. yah. haha~ quite fun la, cos stand at my grp there mah, then they all hyper also, got once did chiku cha w them, at the back some of them form one circle w me then we do tog... keke~ entertain ourselves haha~ tt's e way it shd be man! hahas~ so yup, campfire was fun, n i lost my voice. :P ok not reallie, more lyke got a sore throat after tt which made it hard to speak hahas~

then it was supper/debrief, amazed at all the adjectives my grp can come up w to describe this camp. hahas~ really kewl. then i let them off early to pack n slp..

day 3. not much. woke up, morning stretches, area cleaning. mi n azlan's grp did bunk 4. goodness, these kids sure stink! they smell of pee... serious. we were saying at debrief ytd tt these kids r lyke one of the smelliest bunch we've ever had. hahas~ honest. the worst is when we have mass stuff, like mass dinner, n u walk in btw along the aisle there, it stinks man. hahas~ can faint. so yah, area cleaning, we made them wash the toilet until it smells better. hahas~ yep. gd job done folks! hahas~

then we had debrief n finally did some songs n cheers w mi grp n azlan's grp b4 dismissing them for final prog: prize presentation! n one girl frm mi grp won best girl! yay! hehes~ she deserves it. pity cant give two, cos she n her fran deserves it. hahas~ then its chaoz n gdbye! but not b4 we had a scare frm the teacher cos she told us one of the kids were missing but actually, after we had ran ard like idiots in the campsite in front of another sch(naval base pri but camp not under inno), screaming for a lost boy frm yck pri, we found out frm the teacher tt she made a mistake coz tt guy didnt come for the camp in the first place. -_-"""". sigh.

had final short debrief, tabulation n injury of knee again (hahas~ sianz....) n then its gdbye! kekes~ yah i know, this entry is lyke so wierd rite so brief but sowie, im juz reallie sleepy n cant think straight. gomen nasai! okies, chaoz peeps! till next time muahahaha~




went fer ntu's tea party todae w e school of humanites n social sciences at orchard parade hotel todae. met tingren n kalpu at orchard mrt, then we walked there. hmm.... surprisingsly not a lot of peeps were there, wonder y.... then we were e only 3 jjcians there. wah!!! haha~ n tingren bumped into her cuzz there n later her sec sch fran. heh~ so ya, we were all basically mingling ard chatting, munching on peanuts n speaking to e professors while waiting for it to start. n we all had this stickers bearing our name n major which we stuck on to our shirts. feel like small kid haha~

anw, so it started w this introduction session by the dean n vice-deans n head of courses to welcome us to the sch n all. ya. then we had food, n more mingling ard. nth much reallie. the food was alrite, tr kept complaining it was oily n kalpu kept trying to find out if the pizza was vegetarian cos she cant eat meat. sigh. there was like pasta n pizza n samosa n hot dog pastry n wanton n pao n desserts n er lots la.... ya. i like e samosa though *grinz* keke~

so, wad we found out:
small faculty w only 100 over students
50 in each course (almost)
my course has 50 students(does tt mean tt im gd? waahahahaha)
course module for eng lit
wad e course of sociology is abt
wad e diff btw e lan n e lit is (actually more fer kalpu)
double major n minor
wad comm studies is (again for kalpu)
when term starts(25th july freshman week, damn!)
how long a semester is(14 to 15 weeks)
overseas attachment progs(which we have yippee!!!!)

one thing tt's really pissing me off (or rather person): my bro. i think he's jealous or sth, or cant stand e fact tt i made it to uni. i have no idea wad his freaking prob is, but ever since i found out i've been accepted, he's been constantly putting me down. like todae, when i told him how many ppl were in my course n my mum was really impressed i got in(supposedly cos it means im one of e better few), my bro argued tt its cos no one else wants tt course n tt's only y they accepted me. wth?! then when he found out i was accepted into ntu, he was like, oh tt's cos no one wants to go to tt sch. n then he'll come n tell mi tt "my fran's bro got his letter a month ago n he's got into med sch". like so what, dude? like i care? hello? i dont give no shit abt science dude, not like u. i'd like to see u study shakespeare n get an a, or do french rev n get a*. goodness, some ppl can be so darn shallow. pity assumption accepted him man. they shd juz leave him to rot. his not even thanking them for giving him a chance at getting a secondary education. rather he goes ard telling ppl aes is shit n he wanna get out of there cos he's too good for it. wadeva dude. truth is, no other sch wants u. better shut up n work hard. dun talk big n no action. now he's dissing me for gg to jj. ya so? im still got into uni. dont give me tt crap. u think u're so gd? prove it. u havent even got past the claws of o levels yet. sch like ac n sa r juz names. so wad if u go to hc or rj? doesnt mean u're better. it doesnt mean anything. everywhere u go, u gotta work hard to get somewhere. hey, i got frm assumption (considered no hope by so many ppl) to jj (well some hope there,so they say) n now uni. anyone wanna tell mi those kind of shit juz fuck off. i've been there done tt n im prob better n wiser than u. so shut up n get lost. dont degrade others juz cos u're too afraid or ashamed of urself. it's a free world.

e radio had sth interesting today. did u know tt if u fart for 6 yrs n 1 mth, u have enough gas to make one atomic bomb??? yep... hmm... maybe tt's y bush attacked iraq. perhaps he thought saddam got ppl to fart everyday for 6 yrs n 1 mth to make atomic bombs.

totally out of pt. i know. still, u cant deny its funny ;)




meditating camel

kawaii baby

look! there's a camera!

meditating sun bear

looks plastic

shh...dun disturb,im resting

monkeying ard (ay marc, dun play play hor)

who paint my face?!

munchy munch

lions king n queen

meerkat: kawaii!

cheetah..run far far away

help! im stuck!!

majestic-looking

amazingly non-venomous python

can u see me?

yay~ at e end!

mi hand, mi reflection n a turtle

mi n jamie

mi n a lazy butterfly resting on my palm

mi n a horse!

cut lil pony


for more zoo pics, visit http://photobucket.com/albums/v252/yuenmei/zoo/




the legend - f.i.r

long ago, there was a bird who sang but just once in her life.
from the moment she left the nest,
she searched the longest leaf from a thorn tree,
never resting until she found one.
then she began to sing,
more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth.
but carried away in the rapturous honour song,
she impaled herself on the longest, sharpest thorn.
as she was dying,
she rose above her own agony to out-sing even the lark and the nightingale.
the thorn bird traded her life for that one song and
the whole world was captured to listen!
and God, in His heaven smiles~

as her very best was brought out only at the cost of great pain.
driven by the thorn, with no fear for her death to come.
but when we push the thorn into our breast,
we know....
we understand....
and still..... we choose the pain of the thorn....

-ci niao thorn bird-




went to mi uncle's house todae to visit grandma. uncle went to switzerland for holiday, so lucky!!! too bad i cant squeeze into his luggage.... *cries* so anw, met my grandma at the restaurant near his place fer lunch. yummies. fried fish w mash potato... but i love the soup more hahaha~ yummies... i love to drink soup. kekeke~ esp when im sick or travelling. keke~

then after lunch, went w her to uncle's house. brought some food fer dinner for her. there was soup, jap uncooked rice, char siew, sambal n the packets of kopi she asked for. haha~ then chat w her while eating apple n she watched tv.guess there's reallie nth much to do for her other than tv. its like so sad rite.... haiz. oh well. anw, spent 2 hrs there then left. she went to cut hair n i bought breakfast. my goodness! the bakery shop there so ex!!!!!!! cheat money one.... u know i bought this loaf of butter cake, n it costs 11 bucks!!!!!!! my god.... haiz..... but that's e only bakery shop there... wad to do... haiz....

im still sick. although w/o e sore throat. shd be well tmr or fri; haha. oh wells... im juz reallie bored nows.... haiz... :P:P heh! gg crazee...




argh....i've got the flu bug frm my family. first mi bro had it, n he hasnt recovered. then my mum caught it. n now me. ytd, i had chicken pie for breakfast, n immediately after tt, i had a sore throat. i was like, darn. it was super painful, very hard to swallow. i hate having sore throats. lesson learnt: cannot have chicken pie for breakfast. n then i had to cancel my prata meeting w nad n wenhui. sigh. been looking forward to tt n then i fell sick. shit. oh well....

this morn, i woke up to sore throat n running nose. darnnit. n i didnt slp the whole night cos i was too busy either gg to the toilet or drinking water. sianz.... n then i was so scared i was having high fever cos at the same time, my legs kept shaking n aching although it wasnt cold. but then when i felt my forehead i wasnt having fever! so i deduced my legs r the ones having high fever. hahaha. (ya i know, i've gone senile somehow as well)

so ya. then lunchtime, had to go to westmall to do some errands. so i met wenhui fer lunch there instead, since tt girl rarely gets off days frm work. nad cant join cos she got tuition at 2. so met wenhui at 1, then we went food court to makan. i had fish porridge. yummies. perfect for the sick wahaha. hee~ cos got soup, den easy to eat also... hahas.

after lunch, did my errands. then went cd shops to see see, hey! fir n penny tai's albums out le! hehe~ bought btw the two i bought fir one first, cos i like them more. but u know, i try to play on my comp now, cannot play??? keep like play halfway then stop, then start again!! oh no.... lucky i still have the reciept. hehe.

er...brain dead... dunno wad else to write le. oh wells. update again.

*i still owe u all the zoo pics horz.....*




todae, went to dairy farm to get mi first paycheck!!! hehe~ went w feli. they having campp there. haha. yippee!!! got mi money!!! kekeke~ then help zy take oso.... then mimi was there, so she saw me, then she help mi to take. den chit chat abit then she went back in, while i wait for zy to confirm whether the pay correct or not.

then we left for jj. while walking out, saw mi students in this bus. they saw mi, then started pointing n waving frantically, omg.then tt min yew plaster his face at the window some more. haha~ so farni. then doing some sort of sign lang i dunno, then havent reply the bus drive off le. hahaha~ too bad.

then we decided to take cab down to jj cos the fare will be abt the same. then stop at the petrol station to buy hot dog back, no more the cheese one le so sad:(. then bump into dayah there, hehe~ talk to her abit, then we walked back to jj tog. juz nice sit down at grandstand, soccer match start. jj vs nj. oh ya, passed zy his check as well, dunno y he still there, tell mi he leaving at 4 one. anw, so ya, sat w my darling council juniors, then also saw the new council elects there. brings back memories of my own rally, my council back then sitting tog ra-raing the crowd n cheering for the soccer boys. haha. but nth could beat tt sense of high n joy we felt back in june 2 yrs ago... when jj won soccer championships. sigh. those were the days.... reallie miss them. miss being all green, standing there cheering our hearts out. yah man. gosh, i feel so old. wahahaha~

anw so ya. sat beside hui zhe, wrong choice man. tt girl ah, so excited, until she kept grabbing my sleeves n tugging on it so hard im so scared it'll tear. seriously. then she kept bandishing her drum stick in the air, n everytime we miss the goal she'll scream n swing it ard wildly tt nearly whack mi in the head. haha. oh wells. but then... we lost. 2-0. tt's the 2nd game we've lost, n it's only the 1st stage. needless to say, wont make it to 2nd stage le.this is e first time in some time tt we have not been able to make it past the 1st round. n zhi han(e goalkeeper), who was performing better than usual, blamed himself for it. but i dont think it's his fault. more like the striker. he like playing rugby more than soccer, kick the ball over the goal post n past the rugby one. then mi n feli down there keep saying he scoring 3 pts instead. haiz. oh wells.... wad to do..... at least i manage to watch their last game? ok, not reallie last, have one more game but well... win or lose they wont make it thru. but for the sake of it, i hope they come out winning, w pride.

i've gotta sore throat. yikes!!!! think i got the flu bug frm mi family. die. haiz... tt's all fer now, chaoz!




heyee!!!!!!!!!!! guess wad????? i've juz recieved my letter frm ntu n im ACCEPTED!!! yipees!!!! kekeke~ i was like jumping up n down n running ard laughing crazily n w a stupid smile on mi face. hehe~ cannot belief it.... so happi!!!! hehehe~

yepz... so im accepted for eng lit... hee~ have a chance to do double major too if i wanna. hehe~ so happi!!! yay!!!!!!!!! lalallalala~ okies sowie fer mi crazee mood, im juz so happy!!! hehehe~ :P:P:P

n yah!!! i went back for aes food fiesta todae.... chat w mi students, ate w mi students n they stuffed mi w food like im a pig... hahaha~ n they keep giving mi free food, lyke using their tix to buy food fer mi so end up i din reallie get to use my tix except this once when i used it to buy ice-cream for them all(hell, 8 sticks for 3 bucks!!! woohoo!!!) n bought bee hoon at their stall(which came lyke fully packed to the brim it was so scary n 3 BUNS at oni 3 bucks!) n of course i got cake(frm edwin sia girl no 2), tom yam soup(xiuling n susan) n chicken wings (10 pcs frm them)... wow. so many!!! lucky i take away. mi lunch was........ durian ice cream n e tom yam soup! wahahaha~ n one bun. :P lucky i din get tummy ache hehe~ so fun.... juz chat n bully them. n i found out one of my students actually had a crush on my brother!!!!!!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaah~ n she complain to me he so dao cos he din reply her letter n refused to be her godbrother. hahaha. so farni. haiz. heh~ then they complain his class stall e spaghetti not nice one... then i bully my tt student say is caus he din cook. kekeke~ :P haiz. not teaching them is so much funner... can crap. haha. dun need to worry abt image so much haha~

aitez, tt all fer now. im so happi!!!!!! im gonna sing song n song sing!!! lalala~ hehe~ kies, chaoz!!!!!!!!! gg back to jj fer soccer tmr muahahahaha~ :P




life sux. seriously. im going to explode soon. my mum has been pissing mi off the past few days. day n night. b4 she leaves for work, the moment she gets back until she sleeps. everytime she starts screaming at me, i have this big qn mark on my head asking,"what have i done wrong now?" cos seriously, i dunno how i have offended her, but seemingly i have. everything my family members have done, it juz gets linked back to me. i dunno y. everything tt fucking went wrong in this stupid household, its my fault. like my bro threw away the havent-eaten fish, its my darn prob. e only prob is, i didnt even know he threw away the fish n when i did, it was already in the dustbin. n when i asked him abt it, he said mum asked him to throw it, but when she found out, she started yelling at me! oh yah. im soooooooooooo sorry, mum dearest. i shd have picked out the fish frm tt stupid dustbin n ate it up myself. maybe i'll end dying of food poisoning n we'll all live happily ever after. n there was e issue of my grandma. she poured this glass of water n accidentally spilt some on the table which she didnt wipe up n i din know abt it cos i din enter the kitchen n when my mum saw it, she immediately yelled at me for (unbelievably) SPILLING IT. what the fuck is her prob? even after i told her i din spill it n if i did i would wipe it up, she yelled at me for not doing it. like hello? i dont sit in the kitchen 24 hrs a day juz to clean up after u ppl. I AM NOT UR MAID! how am i supposed to know a patch of water was lying on the table when all the time i was in my room playing my guitar?! n then my mum went to complain to my grandma abt how lazy i was n how stupid i am n wadeva n she thinks i cant hear her. honestly i dont know wad i did to offend her. maybe its my new job. wadeva. seriously, if she hates me so much, y din she get rid of me while she could. give me up for adoption or abort me or sth. life would be so much more happier for both of us.

so i've been venting it all on my guitar. normally, music calms me down, but i was so pissed tt instead, the more i strum, e angrier i felt. it got to the pt where the pain i felt in my fingers was a joy to me. n i wanted to play till they bled. i wanted to play n play n go crazy n forget abt her n this fucking family n everything else. only thing, she had to ruin it as well by yelling at me again. so i had to stop playing n go out into the dining rm for more scolding. trust me, i had no appetite for dinner. n she forced me to eat, n when i did eat, she started commenting tt it was e only thing i knew how to do. to eat n eat n stuff myself full of food n grow fat. like wad e fucking hell is her prob? why is every darn thing tt goes wrong my fault? am i such a jinx?

n u know wad? amazingly, she is still on my case abt my ex. like how long ago was tt? more than 6 freaking mths! n she juz cant get over the whole its-my-fault, oh u pitiful girl n ha serves u rite phases. ya i know the deal. my fault for getting into a r/s in e first place. my fault i lost the r/s. ya n i know she's so happy i did cos it juz shows her theory is rite abt how i dont deserve anyone in this world cos im juz not gd enough. i know the story so could u pls do me a favor n shut up abt it already?! shut up abt him n stop thinking there is still an us n juz move on with ur fucking life! spare me! i want to move on as well! i know u only had 2 bfs, first u ditched n second u married n this shows u're so good n really desirable n wadeva n im not n i get it so leave me alone! please! im so sick n tired of this already....

n i think im really breaking apart. normally, i can surpress wad i want to retort back so as to avoid anymore yellings but lately its gotten to the pt where i simply yell back n ans back n in e process, suffer more insults by her n get whacked by her as well. shit. i seriously want to move out. i really want my own space. i cant breathe here. im suffocating. sooner or later, if she doesnt end up killing me first, i'll kill myself.

how i wish i could play my guitar now......




been busy applying for australian unis. the application juz opened for semester 2(july). well, according to my parents, i'd better have backup in case i cant make it to local uni. so here i am. rushing thru applications again. sigh. so far, im applying to melbourne uni, monash uni, uwa n possibly victoria uni or any other uni in aus which i think is gd n will accept me. yahz. so folks, sorry abt e slow update of photos. i juz recieved some copies frm jamie. so will upload them to my photobucket acct tmr or someday soon, n u guys can view frm there :). wont upload all here cos it'll take mi ages. have ard 57 now, plus jamie's will come up to close 100.

im going crazy. i have 2 more tix left to sell for the carnival cos some of my franz juz cancelled the tix!!!!!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!! help help help!!! i dun wan to have to absorb the tix... cos it means i'll have to pay 30 bucks! dun wan.... :( help....

juz finished working on vicky' blog. ah.... now so nice. wahahaha~ muz thank me horz... hehe! j/k. but anw, i realise these few days been busy teaching others how to edit their blogskins n all. aiee!!!! gg crazy le!

tt's all fer now. im hungry. time for midnight snack. *grinz*




went to the zoo today. haha. so long nvr go there le. jamie's idea, she suddenly wan to go zoo, so i follow her lor. met her at 10 in ang mo kio, then we took bus to zoo. was accompanied by a buzzing bee during the ride there.

reached there 11 plus, e tix so ex, 14 bucks! argh... me got no money le. then we went to see the animals. saw so many, the zoo has really expanded over the years. wad's more, they've really made nice changes to e zoo, making it more cosy n nice. i still think singapore has one of the best zoos in the world. well, wont talk much abt it, wait for e pics. prolly post them tmr or fri. cant use e cam now, its charging. sigh. anw, yah, so nice to look at the animals frm a diff pt of view now, last time when young only know how to scream n squeal, now at least know how to appreciate n marvel at an animal's beauty (or elegance). at least now i truly appreacite a lion's fireceness, a cheetah's quickness, an elephant's gentleness, a monkey's playfulness n wad not. so ya, we shd all go to e zoo when we're grown up n more mature too. haha~ then i was telling jamie, next time we come here, we'll prolly be married n w kids. haha. n then we'll be more busy looking after our kids than looking at the animals. haha.

oh ya, at the butterfly enclousure, we were playing w butterflies! haha~ then jamie was taking this pic, then e butterfly landed on her cam, then she was shocked, so she flicked it away, then it flew near her, then she scared, so i stuck out my hand n made a platform, n to our astonishment it landed on my palm! haha~ then i swing it ard n it juz stayed there! so jamie started snapping away n ask me to pose w the butterfly, then i even play w the butterfly n this indian kid was amazed, but when i hold it real near to him, he shrieked n ran away. haha. then i noticed his mum dared to touch n carry the butterflies after tt. anw, so e butterfly refused to budge, n i couldnt possibly carry it w me out of its enclosure, so i had to nudge it off my palm. so cute! haha~ then jamie said this butterfly is attracted to my hand. haha.

anw, juz to say, i reallie felt like a kid again. esp w tt jamie ard. hha. she see animal like nvr see b4 like tt, so excited, keep squealing n all. haha. as though we have travelled back in time to when we were mere 8 yr olds. yah. haha. but still nice. spent one whole day there exploring every part of the zoo. haha. explore until it rained at 5 plus. haha. we were lucky. finish exploring already then abt to leave then it rained. heavily. so ya, juz nice go home so it didnt matter. then i lucky also. my cam low batt at e end, so ha. still managed to take lotsa pics. n guess wad? i saw ellen there! turns out she working in e zoo as a photographer. how cool is tt?! muz be so fun. haha.

anw, on the way home, i bumped into my distant cuzz kaiying. me so blur, board the train w her at amk also dunno, den stand beside her also dunno, sit in front of her also dunno, only after i read her msg asking where i was did i start to wonder if she was nearby, but blur me look ard me also cannot find her, until she replied tt she was right in front of me then i realised it! haha~ so surprised. then we chat n chat until reach my station. haha. turns out my cuzz pei pei gonna come down to sg, so i gotta bring her go shopping since ying ying not free. haha. excuse for mi to spend money :P

oh i bumped into millah as well. she took e same bus as me! hehe~

alritez, tt's all fer now. who watching jj soccer match tmr???? can tell mi e score? pls pls pls?????




wells hello... so i've finally changed my blogskin. nice nice? haha~ i really love this skin, cos it gives off such an ancient feeling, as though im in the renaissance period you know? haha. so this is like the 7th skin. my first was way back in diaryland, it was purple. i was an html idiot then. so i juz used the templates tt they had. then, my 2nd was sepia in col, by maystar. well, all i can say was i screwed up the html codes, n seriously i didnt know wad they meant by " host ur own pic" then. my 3rd was white, featuring kelly clarkson's lyrics "a moment like this". tt's my last skin for diaryland. its still there, if u visit it. haha. my 4th was pink, a million pieces, n also my first for blogger. those of u who know y i changed wells... haha. :P n then i felt better, so i decided to change skin again, hence came my 5th skin, spunkiness by little pest. i like tt skin a lot too! haha~ dun ask mi why i changed. haha~ then my 6th skin was a spur in the moment kinda thing, i was bored so yah. haha. then my screen resolution became bigger, so my skin sorta reduced to half, n it looked wierd. hence i changed to my 7th skin, which at least feels up my screen n which i find is a refreshing change frm my other skins. for one, it doesnt deal w love. ok not directly. haha. n its so.... literary? haha. which perhaps may explain my behaviour these days.

im starting to quote. from my lit texts no less. have i gone mad? senile? maybe i've become offred. one of those ladies with reduced circumstances. well. sanity is valuable possesion; i hoard it the way people once hoard money. hahas. i guess i've really gone mad. but i gotta say, my fav quotes r from handmaid's tale. i think it's just so...... true? depressing? haha. wadeva.

gg to zoo tmr!!! finally. turned down two camps cos of tt. haiz. cant let jamie down again. haha. ne way, they called up todae, which is like so last minute, n knowing my parents, they wont let me go, so i gotta turn down e camps. well, there goes my pay. haha. u know wad? i had like these two movie voucers for cathay, n blur me thought it was valid till end april, but when i checked it today, i realised to my absolute horror, the darn tickets expired yesterday! hell ya. imagine my anguish. wells. to console myself, i can only say there really arent anymore movies that i feel like watching this month already. nope. zilch. im looking forward to kingdom of heaven(tr!!! orlando bloom!!! haha) n tt's only out in may 5th. so ya. haha. okies. *sobz*

well, note to all jaded folks out there(for wadeva reason), always remb: nolite te bastardes carborundorum! for those with no inkling what i'm saying, go ask jj lit students *wink*




got woken up todae at 8 by a phone call frm aes. turns out they need a relief for one day. so i accepted n went down. after all, aint got nth to do these few days since my next camp is on e 25th. so y not? get 65 bucks mah. anw, my relief starts at 10, so quickly changed n all n went to report to work.

sure feels wierd stepping in there after i've left. haha. din see anyone yet cos its lesson time. report to general office, got my timetable for e day, firsst class is 3/5, followed by 2/6 n 2/3. aside frm 3/5, the other two r headache classes. oh well. its only for a day. haha. so i went up to e staff rm to say hi, n saw hisham, winnie n razif. hisham took over my place, tt guy happy la. they were surprised to see me, then we chatted for a bit b4 hisham had to go for class. n then i ate my breakfast n all while waiting for mrs gan to finish preparing the work for her classes. bell rang, took the work mrs gan prepared for 3/5 to class. bumped into my ex-students along the way, all so stunned. keep shouting "ms lee! ms lee!" then talk to them a bit while relieving 3/5. nth much lah. its juz normal, they do their work, i read my book, time passes by. they noisy, i scream.full stop. haha. there's an advantage in taking a class b4 recess. *wink*

then half hr break. slack in staff rm, read newspaper. then bell rang, next class 2/6. haiz. all the bengs n what nots. all e prob kids plus my stalker. anw, went in, gave them their work to do, but while most were doing, some were playing n making foold of themselves. really hard to control them. in the end i grabbed n pulled them back to their seats. made them sit there. liaoz, some of them fighting some more. confiscated the broom n made them throw away those paper balls. cant wait for bell to ring man. only comfort is tt they were only like this during second half of the lesson. oh well. it could have been worse.

2/3. headache class again. another super noisy class. moment i went in, they started screaming. yelled at them n made them stand. waited until they were nice n quiet b4 greeting them n letting them sit down. gave out the assignment for them. told them it was an open book class test, n anyone caught talking will get zero. dunno y, i somehow like 2/3 much better todae. muz be cos of the absence of certain prob kids like joel. anw, most of the time they were quiet, occasionally there were chatterings but well. haha. bullied ming hui. who ask him like to make life hard for me. he said e f word. i asked him if he knew wad he meant. he said yes. then i asked him who he was saying it to. then he din dare to look at me n pointed to the guy next to him. then i asked him if he was seriously tt desperate. he laughed. then i mocked him, say u desperate until muz go for guys. haiz. well, tt embarrassed him. dun think he will anyhow use tt word le. at least not in front of me. haha. then tt guy ah, like to bully me toom refuse to sit down n do the "test", muz walk ard. say its very hard, then muz copy. then i threaten to take his paper frm him, then he will go back n sit. then he finish doing already, he like to come n disturb me, stand beside me n do those funny actions. so i suan him lor. say he still shorter than me. then he not happi, tip toe. then i say he cheating, might as well stand on the table n compare. haha. then he keep quiet n his fran stood up n walk to me. then his fran say he taller than me. i told his fran nvm, tt is gd. he shd be worried if he's shorter than me cos it means he's not a guy. then minghui pai seh la. haha. then his fran go n ask me, "then mrs gan n mrs lock how? they all so tall, taller than us leh". so i told him ur class boys all not guys mah. haha. :P

then bell ring, collected the "test papers" n left. had lunch w phoebe, affizul n fran came back, chat w them in the canteen. then finish le, mi n phoebe went back to staff rm while affizul n fran left. so we in staff rm chat w hisham n fiona. then he show us some videos he did while in nie. got one is of him doing gymnastics, he so funny, keep falling. then if successful, he will do some stupid pose. than show us this movie they did on floppy disks. super funny. his fran very comic la, so exaggerated. haha. then show us his wedding photos n all, e wife so pretty. haha. so sweet. i wan to get married also, cos wedding photos the girls all look so nice.haha. anw, so we laugh n watch videos n chat until fiona n him had to go for staff meeting. then fiona also gave us cake to eat. after tt me n phoebe went home, since 3 pm le i can go. haha.

tt's all. dunno is tmr will get called up or not. haiz. haha.




broke camp todae. did camp with siling pri at labrador park. we took pri 5 kids (actually, they shd be called p5 monkeys haha). so on wed, woke up early, took my stuff, by rite i shd have reached on time, but i waited for this bus for half an hr n it nvr turned up. so i walked out to take another bus, only to reache westmall n had to wait another 30 mins for another bus. i was already late. took a cab down instead. n cabs were so few! i was lucky cos this cab driver was actually on call, but then checking with the company, the guy had already cancelled, so e cab took me instead. n then both of us got lost, cos i didnt know where was the campsite, n he didnt know the place. so we went one big round n finally ended up at e coffee shop i was supposed to meet them. n it cost me 12.20, n i only had 12 bucks on me. so he juz charge me 12 bucks. haha~ tt marks me being bankrupt during the camp. when i reached, it was 8 plus, n we were supposed to meet at 7.30. was e last one there, n i felt really bad for making them wait for me. n carey was real nice not to charge me for being late.

trainers involved in this camp : carey(i/c), rozita(2nd i/c), yusri, me, feli, iskandar, vick, pam, wati, ad, melissa, germaine, ming juan n hazzie. hazzie's my buddy. so after a quick briefing at the coffeesjop by carey, we walked to the campsite n got the place ready for camp. carey brought a few of us to rackey the place cos we havent been there b4. as compared to dfac, this place seemed smaller n more compact. well, e campsite's an old sec sch, the pasir panjang sec sch, n now it's converted to a campsite. haha~ how cool's tt? hehe! anw, so yah, after getting things all prepared n ready, we sat down n waited for the kids to arrive.

at 9 plus, they arrived. all so small n cute! haha~ so we settled them down, did some ra-raing, told them camp rules n off we go! my grp is grp 10, grp name mee siam. haha~ so wierd rite? all e food. yepz. 19 kids in all, 10 gals n 9 guys. all so cute. haha~ so we brought them to check-in, first nite, guys in hall, gals in dorms. switch-over on second nite. yepz. settled them down, got the gals to change into track pants n put their bedsheets n pillow cases, n off we went!

first activity, ice-breaking. played the name game with my grp first, had one guy who refused to tell mi his name n insisted on being called da bian (shit in chinese). but in e end i called him ah wang(his name is jia wang). haha~ then we played big fish small fish, heh heh, had a couple of kids having to do forfeit. these kids love singing twinkle twinkle ah... haiyo. almost every forfeit sing the same song one. except for a few, one guy did break-dance, another acted as a dog. haha~ cute cute. n ah wang became a frog! hehe~ n played 007 bang as well. heh~ they enjoy tt game :))

anw, p5 kids being kids, love to complain, whine, seek attn n bao tou their franz. like they will argue n fight w one another, complain tt the other speak chinese n wadeva. initially it was alrite, but after a while it got really irritating. so whenever they complain, i juz smile, nod my head n ask them to go back n do their activites. haha~ unless it's like really serious, otherwise i dun bother. haha~ anw, after ice-breaking, had lunch. n then it was obj-setting, but we din have time cos we were running late, so we skipped obj setting n went to e next activity, which for my grp (2nd wave) was all the rope obstacles, rock wall n abseil. yep yep. first stop, rock wall. hazzie did belay. i did crowd control. din manage to clear all e kids. then my grp had abseiling, first time doing, so was like a bit slow cos not very sure mah, n then halfway thru it started to have thunder n lightning, all activities stopped n we proceeded to the shelter areas. soon, it was pouring n we gathered in e hall. then it was ot(own time own target). so i did obj setting w my grp first, then we played games n i taught them cheers n songs. after tt, we had song session. din follow the matrix for tt day cos of e weather. anw, we all ra-ra the kids la, haha. so cute they all when they follow our actions.

after tt, dinner! hehe~ n then it was mass shower. then we had nite activity where we played animal call. its like every grp assigned an animal call(my grp is fish, blop blop!) then e kids r blinfolded n we switch off all the lights n separated them. n so they had to find members of their own grp while crawling ard n making their grp animal calls. quite interesting. then this teacher, quite gd-looking(feli's, mine n mel's eye-candy) bully his students, so bad! haha~ n then after e game, it was supper/debrief. din really have enough time to do a proper debrief e them due to lack of time. juz quickly go thru today;s activities plus the next day's one while they eat.

after tt, had this prog called create which their teacher conducted. some science thing where they had to make their own experiments. yah. kinda interesting. had to help my kids out, couldnt go berak. sigh. haha~ end up w constipation haha. n then it was lights off! we had a quick debreif(trainers), bath then zzzzzzzzzzzzz

day 2
woke up, assemble, breakfast. another change in menue frm usual, thanks to e teachers who asked for it. had bread w sausage n egg(wierd i know). then it was activities. my wave had hike n hunt in labrador park. walked there, it was a long walk, then we played the game there. basically its sth like treasure hunt, they have four things to do, first to find the checkpts in e order, then at each station they will play msg relay. basically i will pass down a no then they will squeeze each other's hands. like say no 1, then they will squeeze once, so it goes like tt in a circle until e last person will tell me wat's e no. then they funny la, no 9 become no 1. then 9 also become 11. haha~ so they had to redo until the last person tell me 9. then third thing they had to do is ans this list of qns. at every check pt sure have clue for the ans one, they juz have to read the notice-boards n listen to wad i say. yupz... then last thing they have to do is to plan a presentation. cos they have to present. my grp successfully completed everything. in fact they very funny, ans qn like writing essay like tt, ans so long one haha. im also quite proud of them cos initially when they started, they were like rushing off n leaving this girl who has slight deformity in her leg behind. after i talked to them, they were much better n in e end, they walked as a grp back. so yah, not bad. also, could see they were trying to work as a grp, but where tt is concerned, it needs improvement still.

after tt, walked back to campsite for lunch, everyone also tired le. after lunch, it was games. had team-building 1 first. but then my wave ppl all very relax one, juz play like diff games frm what the matrix states. din really follow the matrix. is like, the equipment we use, if this grp finish then we take, then play games halfway will stop n teach them cheers n songs, then sian le then will play games again tt kind. so end up we all din complete all e games but finished like one frm each set at least. for me i did loop-a-loop, leap of faith and the wall. then e parade sq was very crowded cos had like 5 grps there. haha~ but not bad la, it was fun!

after tt, had create again. then tt teacher started very late, dunno wad he waiting for then start late, then while breifing them he do demo, but the toy not working so he check n check n check n made changes until it works n waste a lot of time la. so end up it ate into the time we had for campfire prep, until we had like only 45 mins for tt. so me n hazzie discuss like wad to do n wad to teach them, then hazzie had to go cos she campfire emcee, so i had to take her grp as well. then we combine both grps such tt we get meejak! (mee siam and rojak) haha. i taught them the ever ready cheer(which they know by heart anw), then the meejak cheer(what say u say i say), then e banana song. haha. peel banana.... they so cute, i make them do sexy one haha. so farni.

den dinner. den it was campfire! campfire's burning up(x4), burning up, burn burn burn, burning up, burn burn burn.... help to ra-ra the kids, so farni, mel,ming juan n feli had to be monkey, gorilla n chimpanzee. haha. so yah, then so many parents came for campfire, scary. it was like packed la. haiz, shant talk abt e parents. then all e teachers frm e sch came as well, so it was really packed n havoc. haiz. wad to do? we were seriously out-no, plus e teachers din help at all although they said they would. but well, for pri sch kids, the campfire not bad le. haha~

after tt, my wave had shower. then supper/debrief cum area- cleaning. then they go pack bag n lights out! mi had hw to do, write comments fer mi kids. tt nite during debrief, carey broke e news tt it's her last camp. i feel honoured to be able to work w her for her last camp. muz be really lucky. then can see tt carey really play n relax n have fun during this camp. she even joined the kids in the games. haha. like one small kid like tt. haha. so ya, im very lucky le. n she treated us to prata some more. hha. eating prata at 1 plus 2 in e morning. some more the teachers gave us this packet of hokkien mee which e chinese shared(cos not halal.) yupz. then finish my hw (stupid vick call mi nerd) n it was bed time!

day 3
woke up fresh n alert, had a really gd slp. same, breakfast then it was area-cleaning. mine n hazzie's grps did e canteen. took a long time cos e sweeping n all not enought brooms, n so not all can do. some more it was time-consuming. end up had like 5 mins left to do final debrief n evaluation, but lucky for us they extend time to do it. then during tt time trainers had to go n rush n pack our bags n take them out as well cos they wanted to lock up e dorms. so ya, lotsa things gg on. then rush tabulation also, din get to finish cos mi following the sch back to their sch(like huh? haha), so hazzie finish for mi. muz thank her. then on the bus ride, me, ming juan n feli on one bus, play games n sing songs w them. machiam like campfire like tt, we call it bus fire. haha. then reach sch, said bye n off we went!

bought sly's album todae... :) gonna slp npw, im so tired! chaoz....





You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion! And chances are, you're currently in love. You have a strong physical response to love... And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

wrote this sometime back. im into writing poems a lot lately. guess its easier to write as compared to songs. haha

safe haven

the begger roam the streets alone
in the gathering darkness,
he sits under the withering tree
it speaks out to him
a language he knew so well
in this forsaken world
the tree spoke to his soul
it listens, it understands
he has found a companion

dawn breaks, life is anewed
for the begger who sleeps
soundly, under the withering tree
i hear for the first time
his peaceful breathing
he has found a place
to hide
his safe haven
never shall he feel
despair again




argh, im sick... again. it started on friday, after jj night, with an itch in my throat. n then on sat, i was having dry cough. today i could barely get out of bed, w sore throat, cough n fever. well actually e fever came much later, while i was under e sun walking to imm. gosh, the sweltering heat is bad. shdnt have had durian ytd. my dad la, go n buy so many. ended up i fell sick n mum n granma had sore throat. sigh. gonna stay home n recuperate, i hope i get well soon. wed have camp. my parents wont let me go if im sick, n i have to find my knee guard. sigh.

thinking of changing blogskin. yah i hear ,"what? again?!" haha~ well, mi dad changed e screen resolution such tt now when i view my blog, e current skin takes up like half my screen, so it looks really plain n wierd. so im gonna change skin. scouting ard for nice ones, there r a couple i've found but either blogskins has gone ku-ku at tt time, or blogger went senile as well. haha.

spent my time watching billy eliot ytd, i still love tt show after so long. dun ask me why, im juz drawn to flicks w kids, esp those where kids do gd, like billy. haha~ another show i love is les choirtes. heh~ yep yep. wad else can i sick person do man? it gets boring slacking at home now, since most of mi franz are at work or sth. hmm... maybe i shd go do volunteer work. dun mind working w kids! hehe~ will see...

yepz, tt's all fer now. im tired. again. eeks, i hate feeling so lethargic. sighs.




heh, on thurs, watched miss congeniality 2 with jamie! haha~ its a nice show, really funny, the perfect kind of movie to chill out to after a long day(s) of work. yep yep. basically, agent gracie hart is back with more fun n laughter as she tries to save her kidnapped franz (ms usa n e ms usa pageant emcee). yes, the plot is predictable, obviously she will save e day n they will be alright n of course she n her new partner will end up e best of franz, but still this movie is worth watching. n of course i love sandra bullock which is a plus. haha. anw, i still love this show n in e process this movie teaches u a lesson in life. go watch to find out. :D

on fri, we had jj night. met my council peeps at jp for dinner, great to see them again. then we headed back to jj for the jj night. surprise guest w us: chen chen!!! hehe~ but honestly tt guy's fashion sense cannot make it lah, colour combi clash like wad seh... haha~ but still gd to see him. n he joined us for jj nite.

as usual, we joined in the fun, making fools of ourselves n being high. miss tt time where it was us on stage leading the crowd, miss those times where we all lead in mass dance, councilors having fun tog, those games trials n everything. it isnt council we miss, it is the TIMES we shared which bonded us tog. if there is one thing worth joining council for, it is for the ppl u meet. i will never regret tt, n im sure most of us dont too.

so it was a brilliant end to my week, ending with a bang. ironic it shd end on my last day of work hahaha~ but still... heh~ n i think karen n mr liao were all on ecstasy or sth, losing their minds n gg crazy. karen was like screaming like mad such tt jie chao n all were asking us to restrain her, while mr liao kept singing songs on stage tt no one had ever heard of n left all of us baffled at his behaviour. haha~ n yah, most of our seniors were back, mainly frm fit like meiling, andy, razif, yi hao n all (even eugene frm 21st was back), but also others not frm fit like jie chao, jeanie, yeuyun ,chin chong n all. great to see them all again. hopefully, we can have a council gathering of all of us once more.

well, tt's all for now. chaoz peeps!!!

*it finally rained todae!!!!*




so today is my last day. a rather quiet day, no drama no nth. juz slipped out n im gone. yepz. no farewell lunch n all.haha~ only drama there was is in the form of christina, who clutched my hand n refused to let me leave the school until i give her my no. well i didnt, n i managed to go cos (thankfully), she saw e teacher she needed to see n had to go. so tt's e only drama experienced today.

thanks to my classes 3/6, 3/7 n 3/8 for the good n bad times, happy n sad. thanks for the experiences n lessons learnt. looking back, this has indeed been an interesting 3 mths. given the students at aes, teachers have certainly faced many challenges. thanks to my students, i've learnt how to deal with them. it doesnt pay to fight them head on, one must first gain their respect, before u can gain a hand over them. n being students who hate teachers, this has definately been no easy feat. not tt i have. indeed i have not, but at least i learnt sth. if ever i go back there, i'll know what to do. hehe~ thanks too for the letters, cards, presents n all, really appreciate them. n i will most definately be seeing all of them again, haha~

well, going to see my councillors tonight, i cant wait!

almost here- brian mcfadden n delta goodrem (love this song!)

Brian:
Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Brian:
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Brian:
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Brian:
Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
Delta:
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

Brian & Delta:
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Brian:
Cause I know I'm almost here

Brian & Delta:
Only almost here