i cried myself to slp last night... again.... funny how i thought it was over and it came back again... one call frm idayu was all it took.... she called to ask if i wanted to go to sentosa next tues. then she told me she called jas, and jas will b bringing alvin. she called nisa,and nisa will be bringing wan, bao yue will bring gerald, and idayu herself will bring her bf... then i asked her, i go there and do wad? see them lovey-dovey ah.... ha... she forgot, i had no one.... i dont know y it shd bother me, but it did. all this while i had been holding it in, all these while i've been training myself to ignore those emotions, to focus on e road ahead... but one call, and everything broke. one call, and all those memories came rushing back. frm e day we met till e day he left, they hounded me, one after another.... till i began to tear in bed... i didnt know y, it juz started flowing on its on accord... and i couldnt stop it... i hated myself so much then. all i fought, only to break free at e eve of my last paper, juz cos of a phone call.... did i need those tears? did i need to feel tt pain again? i dont want to... maybe b4, i had e a's to focus on, to work on, and now tt it's over, there's nth to distract me... nth to focus my energy on.... i dont want to cry for him ever ever ever again.... i want to forget everything... i wish it was tt easy.... how does it feel, in this wide world where it seems like u're so alone, and yet u knew u once had someone? how does it feel knowing tt he has moved on, knowing he's onto to someone else, and u, after so long, face e threat of falling into tt hole again? i guess i shd reallie swear off e path of love... to nvr have to face this pain again. it wasnt worth it... i have myself to blame. myself, for letting my shell go. myself, for gg against my fears, and accepting him. myself, for breaking... i have learnt now, love is not worth giving up myself for... i will not love again. it is not a luxury for me to savour... i wont take what is not mine.... i will not cry again. i will be strong, and i will move on, and live a life of solitude. those demons shall not come to haunt me again...

on a brighter note, my exams finished today... finally.. haha.... after e paper, we kept screaming and hugging each other and jumping.... haha.... e examiners muz have thought we were a bunch of crazy ppl.... haha.... anw, after tt, met wenhui and nadiah, then me, tingren, wenhui and nadiah went to my house. nadiah wanted to pick my clothes for me, so i end up wearing jeans and my mum's top (which is now mine hahaha). yep, then we went to makan cheese prata, yummy!!! then eat halfway, started pouring outside, so nadiah and tr started to eat slower... and then e rain lightened, and they still havent finished eating. wenhui kept hurrying them cos she had to rush to somewhere, and nad kept dropping her food onto e table... haiz.... and after we payed e bill, tr didnt want to leave, cos it was raining still. she say dun wan to wet her hair... haiz... princess is princess la.. da xiao jie... then i let her and nad use my umbrella, me and wenhui juz walked into e rain. ok lor, not so heavy, e two of us juz walked quickly to e bus stop, then e two ladies stroll so slowly. cannot stand them. then we took 174 to orchard... haha, alvin ang saw me, then he msg me, say enjoy e rain, then i thought he was on e bus, but cannot find him. then after tt at one of e bus stop, saw him, he waiting for bus, then he saw me, then both of us were sian diao... haha. anw he msg me back, say he saw me waiting for bus... haha. anw, turns out he was gg to cut hair then go to town. then he say may see me there, and i told him then i have to siam him le... haha~ then we agreed to ignore each other if we bump into one another, end up i din bump into him... phew... haha~

anw in orchard, went to kino, wenhui wanted to buy book. then i went to seoul garden to look for my class ppl, they having lunch there, but i din join them cos i had made plans w nadiah and all already, then they last min then cfm... haha... so went there to say hi, then chat abit. and daisy gave me a card... so sweet.... hehe~ then after tt, went back to kino, search e whole store for tr and wh only to find out they were still at e same section we had left them at.... -_-"... then after wh bought her book, tr left to meet her franz, wh sent us to hmv then she left to look for her mum. and then outside hmv, this guy ask us for donation to old folk's home, buy coupon, so me and nad share, each person 2.50. then when we taking out money, e guy's hp kept ringing, then his fran came, and he complain to his fran, then he say kao bei la! and i looked at him, then he so embarrased, kept saying sorry sorry, i wasnt scolding u!! haha~ and his friend down there saying, later i help u scold him... haha~ then he thank us, then thank in english and malay, then asked us wad is shopping in malay, then nad tell him, but he couldnt catch e word, so i tell him juz say jalan jalan la... haha~ then we went to hmv, yay!!! they had bellefire's cd!!! yay!!! haha~ search for so so so long le... finally have my cd!!! hehe~ love bellefire, their songs r so nice and soothing!!! hehe~ anw, after tt, walked ard heeren... so many nice nice clothes and all,i wan bring my mum go shopping le... haha~ then go into so many shops, so tempted to buy things, but everythime nvr buy, cos scare not enough money. haha.... so like tt walked the whole of heeren w/o buying anything. i saw this necklace, very nice... wan to buy next time... kekeke~ then after tt, nad want to go far east, she looking for new sandals... so walked to far east. then her sandals no friction, and it was raining. then she keep grabbing my hand to maintain her balance. haha.... next time go shopping muz wear shoes tt have friction... haha~ tt y i love my sandals, cos have friction... keke~ anw, at far east, tt girl ah, walk ard the whole of level one not enough, cannot find nice shoes. end up resting at ljs, shared milo freeze. then i saw this girl who looks like my pri sch fran, but she w her bf, so dun dare to ask her. and i think she recognise me too, cos she kept staring at me... but she oso din dare to ask... so like tt she left le, i oso dunno if she is mi pri sch fran... haha~ anw after resting, went to jalan jalan again....

i bought a new shirt!!! keke~ green wor.. tr muz be happy hor haha~ i wear ur fav col... actually i wanted another design, a pink one then e pic very cute. but they only left w l, and L very big... so have to buy m. then i saw e green one, new design, quite nice oso, then since is new, they have m, so bought tt... so sad... e pink one only comes in lots, so like once tt design sell finish, wont have anymore stock le... haiz. haha~ and then, nad finally found e sandals she like, all e way in e second floor... and then she like 2 diff sandals, one is more formal one, gd for raya period, e other more casual. and she sat there for so long trying to decide which one to buy, then i kept telling her to get e one she likes more, and is more comfortable walking in... and e girl ended up buying both... -_-" haha... got money mah. after tt she still want to shop some more, not enough. she die die want to buy earrings and necklace. so went w her to tt jewellary shop we stopped by juz now, then she ask me buy sth oso, so we both have new accessories. haha... then i bought this butterfly earrings, very nice, cheap some more... keke~ and she bought 2 earrings... haha... and i chose a necklace for her, very nice on her lor... haha~ and then tt girl spend so much, only left w a dollar... end up i treat her to dinner, went to makan kfc's buddy meal.... chit chat oso haha... she kept telling me she very happy w her new shoes.. kept staring at em (she changed to e casual ones juz now, cos floor still wet, want shoe w friction)... haha... anw after dinner, it was 9 plus. walked ard orchard looking at e lights, so nice!!! e angels so cute... haha~ and then we reached e bus stop, took 174 w her... on e bus nad kept smsing, then i have to tell her when e bus moving so she can balance... haha. at one pt she was grabbing my hand to prevent frm flying, and i was thinking if she flies i'll be flying w her too... haha~ then she alight at my bus stop there, and i waited w 157 w her... then bus come, i walked home. reach home 10 plus, think its 10.30... haha~

walk so long, so shuang... now leg pain. haha~ tmr gg moe w lp and feli, then gg to jalan jalan again.... haha~ kies, tt all, bye!!

originally, this was sung by selena. bellefire did a remake. i love both versions!!!

i'll never get over you (getting over me) - bellefire/selena

I hear you're taking the town again
havin' a good time with all your good time friends
i don't think that you think of me
you're on your own now
and i'm alone and free
i know that i should get on with my life
but a life lived without you could never be right

chorus:
as long as the stars shine down from the heavens
long as the rivers run to the sea
i'll never get over you gettin' over me

i try to smile so the hurt won't show
tell everybody i was glad to see you go
but the tears just won't go away
loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay
i know that i ought to find someone new
but all i find is myself always thinkin' of you

chorus:
as long as the stars shine down from the heavens
long as the rivers run to the sea
i'll never get over you gettin' over me

oh, no matter what i do
each night's a lifetime to live through
i can't go on like this
i need your touch
you're the only one i'll ever love

chorus:
as long as the stars shine down from the heavens
long as the rivers run to the sea
i'll never get over you gettin' over me
i'll never get over you gettin' over
never get over you gettin' over
i'll never get over you getting over me