a level results coming out soon.... kinda nervous. have been avoiding the thought of it for a long time now, but now tt it is drawing near many ppl have been asking me abt it n wad i intend to do after. well, cant say im not nervous, but i know tt wad is done is done, it cant be undone. can i wish i had work harder, put in more effort, not allow myself to get distracted? it wont change wad my result will be. if i have to retain (touchwood!), i can only promise myself tt i wont make e same mistakes again. of course, i dont want to retain, i want to get gd grades n get to a uni.... if i get e grades, i know my efforts have not gone to waste. those years spent toiling n pushing myself, out to prove to my detractors im capable of things, tt im not stupid. if i get to uni, n get a degree n hopefully a masters, tt's e last lap. they will keep quiet forever, n i know i have achieved. i know i will then have sth to be proud of. i cant not get e grades.... there's no other way for me. if i cant make it, im doomed forever. they will nvr spare me. i try to comfort myself these days by telling myself i have put in my best, e best i could do. i have, frm em2 in nanyang, gone to aes. it was my wake-up call. i worked my butt off in there, to get frm 1/3 to 2/3 n then promoted to 3/1. e proudest moment i had was back there, topping e level for e first time in english n getting e grades to enter a jc. now tt i have succesfully finished jc, i hope to successfully get into a uni course. nth short of tt.

tingren wants to take e same course as me. i want to take english at ntu. yes, i know the course is new, but e course offered at ntu is more interesting. english at ntu comprimises of not just the study of english language, but literature n media as well. english at nus is just english language itself; to take lit, we have to do e eng lit course. besides, i can do minors in ntu, cross fac or same fac. im considering, shd i take psychology, political science or business as minor? hmm.... sth to consider... haha~ i wonder, if tingren will end up at e same uni, taking e same course in e same class n staying in e same hostel room? kinda freaky come to think of it... tingren for another 3-4 yrs of my life!!! haha~ juz kidding.... :P e gd thing would be at least there'll be someone i know... :)

okies, i know im thinking too much, think until quite far away... haha~ but not really tt far... hehe~ i hope to get into uni, im looking forward to finally being able to do e course i've always wanted to do n meeting new ppl.... haha~ n staying in a hostel away frm parents' eyes.... haha~ n hopefully meeting mr right? hahaha~ kies tt is far away.....haha~ well, e reality is a levels result is coming out soon, cant escape frm it, can only accept it. just hoping tt i did well....

tt's all fer now, chaoz!!

missing - evanescence

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?"

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

(Can you stop the fire, you can't stop the fire)
(Can you stand to fight her, if you won't say the words?)
(Please, please)