i am sleepy. i am in serious need of sleep. zzzz.... once more, i didnt get a wink of sleep last night, thanks to an overactive mind. argh.... now if i can knock out my mind so tt i can get a few hrs of sleep, i would. as it is, i doubt i'll be getting much sleep tonight either.

kendo last night was well.... interesting, and painful. ahah~ i got a bruised hipbone from dou cuts, which is really painful now, and my knee injury came back and i fell and landed on the wrong area, so the hipbone at the back is bruised as well. i hope it's juz bruised and not injured or whatever. haha~ that happened when i was jikeiko-ing with dax. was recieving a cut from him when my left knee suddenly gave way(the muscles twisted or sth, i dunno) and then he barreled into me, and i fell. then he asked me if i was ok, i said no prob, so he asked me to do one more good men cut and we end. so i did, we ended. and there was ta-da! 8 mins left till the end of the training session. -_-" and so, since the pain hadnt really hit me then, i thought i'll be fine, and since taicho was free then(and u have to approach avail kendokas for jikeiko), i asked him for jikeiko. and then, halfway true, the pain set in, and it nearly killed me. the entire time, i was thinking, "wtf, bloody painful!" and the pain was in the bones, which was worse. n he asked me to do men cuts on him, so i juz did and tolerate the pain, since it was just a few mins left. when it ended, i was like, "phew!"

so ym has painful brusies and a whacked up knee right now.... and i think i fumikomi wrongly or sth, i dunno, cos today my right heel hurts. argh. last night, the pain i felt after i fell was so bad, i couldnt bend or squat or whatever.... even standing straight was painful. needless to say, it was a painful night, and it being sleepless didnt help.

so last night, my focus was on not being tensed while doing suburis. it was alright until we had to do hayasuburis. i just tensed, i dont know, trying to keep up with the pace. yah.... sigh. more hayasuburi pratices for me at home! *prays the ceiling dont fall on me* also, im still using too much right hand. shermaine was yelling at me for that, and jeremy told me to loosen the grip of the right hand. so as an experiment, when i was practising dou cuts, while recieving, as i opened, i observe how i lift up my hands. and yes, it veers to the side, at an angle. although sometimes, it veers to the left, others to the right. o_O *bang head*

a funny thing happened too. dax praised me! *gasp* he said after my jikeiko w him that he liked my spirit, that i didnt give up and kept trying to go for that cut (men, kote, hiki men), and told me to keep it up. hmmm.... i was surprised though, cos i felt ashamed when i watched the way he did kakarekeiko, it was so fast and more energetic than mine, and there he was praising me. hmmm... i must put more energy into my kendo! haha~ although getting praised is nice... haha~ makes one more motivated! haha~ but then again, one musnt rush things, must take things slow, and now it's more impt to do my cuts nicely. hai hai!

today, we watched girlfight during lit lect. girlfight reminded me of million dollar baby, although between the two, i felt that million dollar baby was so much better, not to mention that there's hillary swank in it! the storyline in million dollar baby is so much better, plus they dont try to make it hollywood, ie happy ending. in million dollar baby, i felt more in connection with the character, really felt her pain and her hardships, her motivation, such that when she chose to die in the end then stay a vegetable, it was so sad. girlfight was alright, except i hated the love story in it, it sorta override the whole thing, esp at the end. and i felt it was stupid to give such a happily-ever-after ending, and yes, the ending sucked. and it wasnt as realistic in that there's seriously no way a person could be such a pro boxer in such a short time. so there you go. million dollar baby was so much nicer. haha~ but then again, if i havent watched million dollar baby, i would think that girlfight was ok, only that the love story was, and sadly made, the movie cliche. yeah.

uncle's gg to operation tmr. i hope it turns out fine.

en3245 test on fri. someone kill me already.

the next bleach episode is on march 28th. wth? so long...... someone seriously kill me. haa~ i hope this time, the 1 hr special episode isnt crap, cos the first one was crap for the first half-an-hr. yeah.