stayed home today. completed another jigsaw puzzle for my friend's birthday... yay!!! hehe~ then do and watch mvp at e same time... keke~ nice to stay at home and rest, doing my own things... tmr prolly will be at home again, have to pack for my trip... then thurs onwards will be super busy le... thurs to sat at chalet, sun gg off to tassie!!! keke~

hmm.... oh yah... doing e chalet thing.... so sad.... like only half e class going. then some more, is like depending on whether this person is gg or not, cos if tt person goes, alot dun wan to go.... its so sad.... all because of a certain conflict, beginning w a breakup... two ppl's own private matters became blown up, and after tt, e guys relationship w tt person deteriorated.... so much so that when i asked steven to help me tell e guys abt e chalet, he told me tt if tt person is gg, alot of them sure not going... and then how am i supposed to tell tt guy not to go? the purpose of this chalet is a class gathering, not a grp gathering, its only fair that everyone knows.... then he tell me to tell tt guy myself, cos he doesnt wants to create more conflicts btw them. how am i supposed to tell? in e end, i found out frm his friend tt he is not gg... and i suppose it has to do w those conflicts.... isnt it sad? for four yrs, they all got along, we all got along, only to graduate and come out and drift apart, to e extent tt now they r enemies.... what happened to friendship? what happened to those days of working together, of playing together? what happened to all those encouragement, those laughter, tears, fights, smiles, brotherhoods and sisterhoods? where have they all gone? does it all end when we have left secondary school? were all those 4 years of being together, going thru shit together, growing up together, all those times we shared gone? dosent those times hold any place in their hearts? or do they not mean anything to u at all? i dont understand why is it tt they have to be like this... why cant we even have a proper get together, and just throw away all those conflicts we once had? i dont see why is it tt i can forgive my pri sch mates for what they did to me, and even organise a bbq for them and all of them can come, and why is it that u cant? c'mon lah, all u guys have are arguments, its so normal, becos of that, u throw away those friendships? then how abt me? i get beaten up every single day of my pri 6 life and i can forgive those ppl for doing so, and organise a bbq, u ppl fall out and become enemies juz bcos of a conflict? where's e sense in that? r human relationships so trivial, that they dont mean anything to u ppl at all?

i feel like calling off the whole thing after that... what is e point? the whole purpose has been defeated... if not bcos the money has been paid, i would have just cancelled the whole thing... im so tired of trying to persuade ppl to go.... so tired... y is it that u ppl have to be like this? why? is it too much to ask for a get together? that was what u all wanted isnt it? and i planned it cos u all wanted it, and now tt its all confirmed u come out and give me this shit! pls just go.... can we put aside e past, e conflicts, for just one night? or three days? is it too much to ask?

i have lost my faith in humans... what is the point in having friends, in trusting, if it all doesnt mean anything to anyone... if it is just taken for granted. might as well not have any at all...