nothing could have ever prepared him for what was to come. it seemed like any other day, a normal sunday, where he spends time with his family. why should this day be any different?

a call, at 1.15. he had just drove past sajc, to show his family where the school was, and how far it is from his house. he and his son were chattering about probable ways for him to come to school, if he was accepted. unsuspicious of anything amiss, he answered his phone. what came next was a shock...."Dad's in ICU. he's unconcious." he sat there, stunned. in icu? how? why? thoughts whirled around in his head, as he tried to surpress the great feeling of worry present in his heart. softly, he mumbled what he heard to his family. the mood in the car changed from light cheerful bantering to a sombre atmosphere, filled with a feeling of dread. no one dared voice out what was on his mind. slowly, he drove towards the place they had decided on for lunch. suddenly, lunch wasn't something they were looking forward to anymore.

it was a quiet affair during lunch, and hurried. all they talked about were small, mundane everyday things to keep their minds off the matter. alas, it was only a brief moment of respite, for soon after, he recieved a call to say that his father has passed away, at 1.45pm. too soon. it was too soon. he stood by the pavement, numb. mechanically, he went back to the shop and beckoned his family to leave. it started pouring, the rain reflecting his mood, his urge to cry. it was too soon. he broke in the comfort of the car, while his family sat in shocked silence. it was all too soon. "could he not have waited a couple of hours for me to say goodbye?"

briefly, he recalled talking about his father the day before to his friends. he remembered wanting to go back to penang to visit his dad near the end of july. could he not have waited? a dozen what ifs raced through his mind as he sat in silent contemplation, waiting. it couldnt be, he couldnt believe it, but deep in his heart, he knew it to be true.

he stood by his coffin, staring at his beloved father's face. his death could have been avoided, he was fine, but then....too soon. overcome by grief, he cried, silent tears sliding down his face as he struggled to control his emotions. "pa! im here.... i'm here to send you off...pa..." he needed time, time to understand, time to comprehend, time to accept.... time.....

-for my father-