i wasn't going to let it affect me but i guess in the end, it still does. it kinda hurts knowing that your friends out there don't find you trustworthy at all. hmms. perhaps it all boils down with me being too, what is it people always say?, oh yah, outgoing. too many friends, too much interaction with people, and i guess i fall under the category of "loud-mouth, fun friends that one just can't trust to keep her mouth shut" or something like that. sad. just when i change, people start stepping on me again. it doesn't make any sense. when you're all silent and withdrawn and in your own world, people say that you're some stupid freaking loner, some bitch or spread some nasty rumours about you or something. and yet, when you're that hyper, cheerful person who goes out of the way to make new friends and attempt to make everyone comfortable and happy, people say that you're some sort of social butterfly, or flirt, or someone who can't be trusted, or whatever. what is it with humans anyway? for all the intelligence they claim to possess, humans are really just plain stupid.

and really, its not my fault that i find it so much easier to interact with guys than girls. for one, guys dont go on and on about really insignificant stuff like makeup and cute guys and hot shirts and whatever. two, they dont hang out in cliques. well, most of the guys i know anyway. they have no qualms about hanging with different people, just crapping the day (and night) through. the same cant be said about the girls. its always either "you're in or you're out", which kinda explains why i don't really have any close girl friends, period. three: guys dont really bitch, and when they do its just so darn funny and enjoyable. and they are so easy to talk to. and well they really do know how to brighten up your day, especially when you're feeling really down or something. if i were to talk to a girl (generally speaking), the person would most likely be going on and on and on about some stuff or the other and i will be like, "hello? can you like keep quiet and leave me alone now???" in my head. so yeah, i connect easier with the guys than i do with girls, but that does not mean that im a flirt, and that does not mean that im easy or whatever. just thought i'd clear that up before people actually start saying it to other people and ruining my reputation.

@@@
thanks to lay ping and tingren for their bd pressies! lp gave me a erm really cute and er wierd necklace-hp kinda thing. and erm yah. tr has yet to give me my pressie but i already know what she's gonna get. ha! lingerie-related. hope i dont faint when i see it, haha~

shopped with lp today. man, i miss shopping in aussie. the clothes there are really special and most importantly, not ridiculously made SMALL. like wth?! shopping in singapore, esp in places like far east and bugis village, is just plain unfriendly to bigger-sized people. and im not just talking about tummies. hell, most of the clothes can only fit in my head and a hand. and they're supposed to be L. wth! so damn frustrating shopping for stuff in singapore. serious blow to a person's confidence too, really. they should just get rid of such ridiculous shops. i miss shopping in aussie. at least i dont have to worry about whether or not im able to actually get a head and two arms in and can concentrate on whether the clothes actually look good on me. geez. needless to say, i got pretty sick of far east really fast, in like half an hour while waiting for lp.

thank goodness for isetan at wisma then. at least the clothes there are wearable. usually. i bought an orange halter for meself (which lp picked out and which she then proclaimed suited me really well and that i should and must buy it! haha~). but i still would rather shop in aussie. ahhhh....

other stuff i bought: tr's bd pressie (sorry girl, still not gonna tell ya haha~ keep on guessing!), a small pouch for my mp4 stuff and earrings! hee~

@@@
it's late, i wanna sleep, and i shall leave you with the lyrics of this song. haven't done this in a while.

Addicted - Kelly Clarkson

It’s like you’re a drug
It’s like you’re a demon I can’t face down
It’s like I’m stuck
It’s like I’m running from you all the time
And I know I let
You have all the power
It’s like the only company I seek
Is misery all around

It’s like you’re a leach
Sucking the life from me
It’s like I can’t breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you
Have all the power
And I realize I’m never gonna
Quit you over time

It’s like I can’t breathe
It’s like I can’t see anything
Nothing but you
I’m addicted to you
It’s like I can’t think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You’ve taken over me
It’s like I’m not me
It’s like I’m not me

It’s like I’m lost
It’s like I’m giving up slowly
It’s like you’re a ghost
That’s haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in
My head are mine alone
And I know I’ll never change my ways
If I don’t give you up now

It’s like I can’t breathe
It’s like I can’t see anything
Nothing but you
I’m addicted to you
It’s like I can’t think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You’ve taken over me
It’s like I’m not me
It’s like I’m not me

I’m hooked on you
I need a fix, I can’t take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I’ll handle it, quit it
Just one more time, then that’s it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It’s like I can’t breathe
It’s like I can’t see anything
Nothing but you
I’m addicted to you
It’s like I can’t think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You’ve taken over me
It’s like I’m not me
It’s like I’m not me