todae he's very sad.....upset abt his checkup....he din want to tell mi abt it but i could guess frm his msg wad happened..... haiz.... maybe tt y he looked for me yesterdae ba..... shant rant and rave now, dont feel like it.....anw hope he gets over it and cheer up and focus on a's.....

lat din come todae...pat lim took over....lesson was more slow-paced, but easier to absorb wad she's saying, unlike e fast-paced lessons of lat..... yah. todae's lesson was ok....did the victory and morning song....on birth...... it reminds mi of my tutor's baby son and tt show my mum alwayz watch.....newborn babies r so cute and tiny and fragile tt u juz wanna cuddle them when u see em but yet u dont even dare to touch them for fear u'll hurt them...... tt's when u realise how fragile life could be....yet every new life tt is born in this world brings so much joy to e surrounding ppl....its a wonder how one could look at a newborn and be filled w detest and hatred for him/her...... and u know....everytime i see this baby, i cant wait to be able to experience tt joy of cuddling one of my own...then i realise im so glad i nvr give in to those temptations of taking my own life....to be able to give life to another is such a wonderful thing..... i hope tt everytime i feel damn depressed, i'll be reminded of the cute lil newborns, then life aint tt bad anymore... nth is impossible, it only is if u urself think it is.....

rite....i also came to this conclusion, it an old saying many have heard b4. "if u love someone, let him go, if he comes back to u, u know he's yours." or sth like tt. ya well....so im gonna do juz tt.....wad happens, i dont know...maybe he'll come back, maybe he wont. maybe he'll find someone else, maybe i'll nvr get over him, maybe i will....maybe i'll find someone better......maybe. ironic how all our lives r centred ard maybes and wat ifs and possibilities. but well...tt's e unseeble future...... so....ya....im gonna go...he's gonna go....we have seperate lives to lead......but i know tt i will not forget him, nor will i stop caring for him...... i dont hate him..... hu knows wad will happen after a's? for all i know, i might realise my dream and go overseas for education, then it's a new life again...meet new ppl, new friends, maybe someone new.....for tt future....i live....for tt future...i work.....for tt future.....im alive...... for wadeva future tt awaits us....we shall strive for it....work towards it...... ppl, let's work tog and overcome e nearest hurdle in front of us....the a levels....hope tt everyone will support one another and push each other during this period of intense stress and difficulty.....

lastly, i know tt my posts may not all sound happy..... in fact, the past few days it has been rather dreary....and depressing....sorry for tt....but everyone has their moments....i shant promise it wont be happier, i shant promise there will be no more of such posts. the bottomline is, this is my blog, i do wad i want w it, i write wad i want in it, cos i've got no other place to write other then here. so if u cant take it, or are not happy w it, u can take urself somewhere else cos im not begging u to read this. im not changing for u, and i nvr will. suit ur ownself. im me, and this is how it's gonna be.

i guess tt's all for now....big qn mark over me and him....torned over the two options avail. to me....either way, i'll feel either hurt or immensely guilty... but we'll see how it goes....i know tt now, im not gg to look for him. if he looks for me, then maybe i'll entertain him, but i dare not hope for more..... again, i wanna thank zhiyu....sorry give u so much headache........ thanks and take care k.... ppl, big flu bug gg ard, do take care of urselves ya! drink more water, eat more fruits and vegetables,and get enough rest!!!!!!!! or if u listen to zhiyu's advice, its eat more salty bananas and sour hotdogs....yah. haha. well....tt's all fer now, chaoz!